While he had a point in that people should cut back on overhead costs, he ignored one clear fact – that the cost of living is high for the average working class folk. He has no idea what these people go through because, well, he earns a comfortable salary, has a driver drive him to work (and other places), dines out regularly, lives in a big bungalow in a fancy neighbour, has a maid do his cleaning-laundry-etc and probably travels regularly as well as spends on branded items.

It’s easy for people like him to sweep away complaints by others who are less fortunate. It’s easy for him to tell people to take the public transport and drive when he has probably never taken the bus or MRT in the last few years. It is easy for him to tell people that the cost of living is not so high compared to foreign cities but has he lived in some of the most “expensive” cities in the world? I don’t think so.

So really dear Datuk…before you go around telling people that RM3K is manageable – one can only hope that you don’t mean the family unit, especially those with children – I dare you (yes, you read it right) to live the life of a working class man who has to support his family on one salary for just a month. Then come back and tell the good folks of Malaysia that we shouldn’t complain about how hard it is to stretch our ringgits and cents.

Needless to say, my complaint made it to the national daily’s opinion desk. They published a cut version of it here but here’s the full, unedited piece:

Dear Editor,

After reading your recent report on the rising cost of living in Malaysia and subsequent remark made by Datuk Raja Nong Chik Raja Zainal Abidin, I must clarify several matters for the Datuk.

I have lived in Australia, Switzerland, spent a lot of my time in France and am now staying in Singapore. Of these four countries, Switzerland has one of the highest cost of living. A kilo of meat can go up to CHF80 (RM200 – I’m using RM3 = CHF1 as an exchange rate), unleaded fuel is about CHF2.60 (RM7.80) per liter, and cars, well, I didn’t even bother to take note of them since they are pricey. Rental for a two bedroom apartment about 800 sqm is CHF1200 (RM3600) and our bills (electricity, gas, water, sewage, trash, municipal taxes, telephone, Internet) can easily hit CHF500 (RM1500) per month. A lot of people back at home are shocked, yet my husband and I can survive and even save on a single person’s salary despite the taxes and insurance premiums (which are compulsory even for foreigners). This is because his salary matches the cost of living and is reviewed for any adjustments each year.

Dollar for dollar, living standards in Malaysia have increased. In the two years since I left Malaysia, a work blouse from the same store has gone from RM50 to RM110, shoes have gone from RM30-40 to RM80 and my breakfast serving of noodles have went up from RM3.50 to RM4.50. Almost everything has gone up by double except salaries. People are still earning the same amount and honestly, the spending power has gone down. You need more to buy something these days.

Have Ministers and politicians stop to think about the regular working class and their expenses and wages? Can RM3000 sustain a family with a housing loan, bills and maybe a car loan to pay off? The regular Malaysian has to drive because public transportation in Malaysia is just not reliable and doesn’t service many areas. A cheap car loan can easily reduce one’s income by RM200-500. Lets not talk about housing matters like rental or a mortgage. People need to eat and I do agree with many – the price of groceries have gone up.

Before anyone can tell people to live on RM3000 especially families on a single income, please take a step back. If possible, trade your Mercedes, your big bungalow, your cushy five figure salary, your maid(s), your posh meals for a month of living in a rented home – sometimes room – with an old secondhand Kancil or maybe even an old Honda Suzuki and no maid(s) with plenty of home cooked meals and leftovers for the next day.

Don’t just be quick to say that people should cut back on “overhead” costs because I dare say that for a good many of us, we are already living on the bare necessities. Only people with deep pockets and wide waistlines can afford luxuries these days in Malaysia. The rest of us are just scrapping by.

Apparently, he had bumped into her (or something which involved him either stepping on her foot or something) and “they” were squabbling over it. I use double quote marks around the word because she was the one doing most of the squabbling. He tried to walk away a few times but she yelled on the top of her voice at him, causing him to backtrack. For the most part, I could barely hear him but her? Ohboy, EVERYONE heard her. It was then she threw THE line – “Is it because I’m Asian and you’re white?”

I could only imagine the incredulous look at the man’s face. I had groaned outloud when she said that because it had nothing to do with her race at all. It was then that the man’s friend, who was queueing, behind me called for him and offered to pay for his ham. Poor guy looked as black as night. Talk about a crappy day. You go to the store to buy ham and get yelled at by a stranger. On top of that, she accuses you of being a bigot/racist.

The whole drama aside plus the fact that this is perhaps the fifth fight I’ve witnessed since arriving in Singapore, there is one thing I don’t really understand about most people here (Singapore and more so Malaysia). Every little thing has to be race-related even when it isn’t. The matter was a simple thing that could and should have been resolved with an apology by the guy and a forgiving smile/nod by the woman. How did it escalate to screams and a pander of the race card?

When something happens to us, especially a bad thing, why do minorities use race as the first thing to justify the situation even when race was never an issue in the first place? Convenience? Habit? Insecurity issues? “I’m being victimized here because I’m Asian.” “You think you’re so great coz you’re White.” “You bloody angmohs/Chinese/Indians/Malays/etc are all the same.” HUH? This reminded me of the encounter I had a few years ago at Charles de Gaule Airport where Nil was called a racist just because he asked an African woman to stop pushing her luggage trolley into my legs. Everyone around us went “HUH????”. Truly bizarre and something that I’d like to understand further.

In the meantime, I hope that the poor guy’s day got better after that episode with the lady. Talk about bad luck. My colleague suspects she’s probably stressed out or got out of the wrong side of bed. Who knows? With such people these days, who knows?

Perhaps I’m a simple person but I do wonder if the shopping mall like structure that towers over everything is really necessary. The fact that it’s MEGA makes it so unapproachable; I felt quite turned off at the sight of something so imposing even though it was just a structure. I was reminded of the fact that the house of God need not be a place of wealth or prestige simply because the life now that we have is only temporarily. I never thought much about these mega churches until recently when one such church came under fire (read: investigation) for possible misappropriation of funds.

As I read more and more reports about this church, I felt quite disturbed. A church that invests over $300 million in a shopping complex. A church that dabbles in commercial development. A church that sets up shop literally – opening kindergartens and other forms of businesses. Yet this church did not register a separate business entity. It is supposed fall into the category of charities under laws governing the regulation of religious and charitable institutions.

My beef is more with how the church gets its capital for such commercial endeavours, the purpose of investing millions of money and what is done with the profit. I have read of comments circulating around the Internet that people hired under the umbrella of businesses are providing services to certain members of the church and people have asked – who pays the salaries for these people? If the money comes from church members, why are they not allowed to attend general meetings? In the first place, why is a church segregating its members into “ordinary” and “executive”?

While people are calling for more transparency, I for one thing would like to ask where in the Bible did it say that it was okay for churches to dabble in commercial enterprises under the guise of “expansion” – please, do you really need a $300 million dollar stake in Suntec City to give your members space to worship and such? Would your worship sessions be any less worship to God if you didn’t have the concert lights and surround sound?

Call me a traditionalist but I feel that money, just like politics, cannot fare well in a marriage with religion. History has shown us that. So why are we repeating the same mistakes again?

More info here:
- City Harvest Church under investigation
- When business and religion mix
- Ordinary members ‘have no right to attend general meetings’
- Lights, lasers and a top sound system … not for a concert but church services
- Tighter reins or separate rules for religious charities?
- Details could not be disclosed, says church
- City Harvest Church responds to questions over non-disclosure of Suntec deal

You see, one of the hot topics circulating around on Facebook a while back (yes, I’m on Facebook despite the full plate of work, noxycut reviews and Eva) was the death of a student in a car accident. What made it “hot” was the fact that her accident was the cause of the lack of civic consciousness displayed by BHP, an oil & gas company that also runs service stations.

The girl was trapped in her car after being caught in a three-car accident along one of the highways in Kuala Lumpur in the wee hours of the morning and a passerby had stop to see if he could lend a helping hand. When he saw sparks coming from under the car, he rushed to the nearest service station about 500m away in search of a fire extinguisher. He found four that were under lock and key, offered his IC as a deposit for one of them and got rejected. He pleaded, begged and perhaps even threatened but the two attendants were firm – they would not loan him one. The passerby returned to the scene, helpless and unable to do anything. The girl burn to death.

According to police, she would have been saved had someone been able to find a fire extinguisher. Many people were outraged over the fact that there were four fire extinguishers yet the attendants were “heartless” and by the book. BHP GM came out all apologetic but maintained that his company policy and his attendants actions were right given the situation.

*sigh*

In France, the two attendants would have been dragged to the police station and charged with failing to help, resulting in death. In Malaysia, they don’t even have to apologise. What was even tragic about the entire situation is the GM’s cavalier attitude towards his company’s policy. The loss of a fire extinguisher was more important than a girl’s life. How much would it have cost his company to replace that fire extinguisher (they should be replaced regularly)?

While I can understand that the attendants are merely following company policy, I feel that there are instances where you just have to say “To hell” with company policy and exercise a little humanity. They could have followed him, they could have taken his IC as a deposit – apparently he even offered his entire wallet but that’s just an allegation. But no, they choose to stick by the books and someone had to die for that. Was it worth it?

Now, going back to the fire extinguisher, do we carry fire extinguishers in our cars? We should. Had the passerby placed one in his car, he wouldn’t have to put up with the service station attendants. He could have saved the girl himself or at least buy her some time until the firemen and police came. A lot of people mistake the presence of a fire extinguisher in their cars to be useless should they be in an accident – in the case of the girl, it would have been pointless since she was trapped and her car mangled. But what about the passerby and others? They would have been able to help.

That college student’s death was an unnecessary one. I really hope people will wake up from their paranoia or stupor and see that life isn’t all about “I’m going to be robbed if I help someone” or “It won’t happen to me”, learn from this and apply it. If life just goes on and no one learns anything from this, well, that would just be really sad and the girl would have really died for nothing.

More info here:
Student dies after kiosk workers refuse to help
Outrage over fiery death
Dead woman believed to be college student

She has Nil’s face, skin and hair colour but my eyes. Her ears are like my dad’s and her toes are from Nil. Her hair thickness is somewhat like mine when I was a baby and her size is well, similar to a baby me.

Ten months on and she no longer looks like the little baby that came out fresh from the bun. She’s leaner thanks to her mobility (natural baby growth and crawling trumps fat-burners any time!) and I’m even shocked to notice that she’s nearly up to my mid-thighs!!! Yes, Mum is definitely going to be the shortest in the family. Hai.

She has a little bit of each of our personality and a whole lot of her own – stubborn as a mule (like Nil) and an ultra big complainer (like me)…talk about a lethal combination! My, how time has flown and our little one is fast growing up into a toddler.

Two more months and she’ll be ONE years old! Acks. Now if only I could freeze time.

LOL!

So what is it that I do from 830am to 530pm on Mondays all the way up till Fridays? I go through tons of emails – mostly about new manuscripts coming in, issues regarding graphics for articles, journal issues that need to go out/addressed/worked on, authors asking for updates on their manuscripts and the likes. It takes about three hours to sort through, reply and organize into their respective folders.

Then I get started on the actual manuscript work – getting scripts booked into the system, sending them over to typesetters or copyeditors, checking them, liasing with authors, putting an issue together, troubleshooting and more emailing! The downside with all this is that I’m not very mobile – you’d think that work would be one of those great fat burners but no, not in my case. Thankgoodness I have my thirst for water to thank for together with my toilet and pumping sessions. The constant walking to refill my water bottle and handling the whole “what goes in must come out” keeps me on the move at least once every hour!

So far, I’m working on just a bi-weekly journal with another production editor but will take on another two journals by end of next week. Chances are I’ll be even busier then so on hindsight, perhaps the whole “boobs deciding to wean” issue (discussed on the baby blog) comes at an opportune moment. We’ll see.

In the meantime, yes, work keeps me busy…to the point where I think I’m beginning to not have the time to blog. Gah!

My tops came mostly from PADINI, a place that I used to get a number of my work outfits, shoes and some casual wear. They’ve always had some nice tops that are great for work and the prices then were quite affordable. Then would be the keyword. I got a shock on Friday when I went to check them out. RM110 for a blouse!!!! What the heck happened to paying just RM60-70? Apparently, it was the same in other places and even worse in some stores. In one store, a blouse can hit up to RM160! Gosh.

Dollar to dollar, suddenly living costs in Malaysia have shot up considerably. This was most evident when it came to food, toys and clothing. Of course there are some places you could go to get well-priced outfits but in general, I have come to understand why some people complain about the living costs in Malaysia. We spent RM14 on a breakfast-brunch of paus and a bowl of noodles went for around RM4. Before I go on, you have to understand that even though my salary in Singaporean dollar, I don’t do the whole forex thing when I talk about living costs in a country. This is because you need to factor in the local salaries and from what I understand, Malaysian salaries have not gone up much at all. Also, the thing about forex change is that if you go shopping in a country where its currency is low, of course everything would be cheap for you but that’s not how you should compare living costs/standards.

In fact, if one were to compare the living costs in Singapore versus Malaysia, food, clothing and even kids toys are expensive in Malaysia. The same toy in Singapore which would have cost me SGD35 retails for RM80 plus in Malaysia. The same top in Singapore would go for SGD30-40 but in Malaysia, retails for anywhere between RM50 to RM150. The same pair of pants in Singapore would go for SGD30 but in Malaysia, retails for at least RM60 or more. Food? A plate of chicken rice in Singapore costs SGD2-3 but in Malaysia, can hit up to RM6.

Maybe it’s just me.

Malaysians, do you feel that living costs have gone up?

Of lately, I have taken a great interest in opinions and stories that revolve around family welfare and particularly, motherhood. There has been much talk in Malaysia about lengthening the stretch of maternity leave to 90 days instead of the current 60 days. We appear to be one of the few nations out there who still pay out less than 90 days of maternity leave to female workers. Just some interesting information – did you know that Pakistan, Bangladesh, Afghanistan and Vietnam provides its female workers with at least 3-6 mths of paid maternity leave? Even Singaporean companies give out at least 12-16 weeks of 100% paid maternity leave.

Anyway, this writer sends in her article as a response to current calls for longer maternity leave and boy o’ boy, did it create a ruckus…online. Here are some of the “interesting” bits.

However, no reasonable woman, working or not, would argue that she should be paid while she is not working. Paying a salary to a person that is not fulfilling his or her job description is economically disadvantageous to the employer and to the economy at large.

…

By asking for ridiculously generous benefits, women’s rights activists have bankrupted uncountable companies in the West and now they are trying to do the same here.

…

A pregnant woman should resign, or take unpaid leave until her child is born and until he is big enough for her to return to work. Pregnant women are already unable to fulfil their duties because their condition does not usually allow them to perform as they should. The position left vacant should be filled by temporary or contract workers.

Women should not be selfish and think they can have it all, and lawyers should consider that human rights are subservient to the performance of the economy. Every right has a price, and having no job gives you no money to pay for your rights.

…

*sigh*

No wonder they say that the biggest criticisers of women are women themselves. Of course I wrote a statement in response to that letter. Of course I found some bits of it to be preposterous to say the least. I wonder if it’ll see the light of day though. Here’s my response…

Dear Editor,

I refer to Ms Marisa Demori’s letter to the Editor dated 24 May and am sad to find that a woman would form such opinions when many countless women out there – married or otherwise – are fighting for longer maternity leave.

I have had the pleasure and privilege of living in a number of countries and along the way have noted that these countries take the necessary steps to protect mothers be it single or married, working or otherwise. In fact, in France, single mothers are given more benefits than any other out there mainly because of their circumstances. In Singapore, full-time working female citizens with children are given an infant/childcare subsidy so that they can find a certified, good caregiver for their children while they are at work. No one opposes because of one thing – these women are raising the next generation and could do a whole lot better if they had less to worry about.

Being a new mother, I know what it’s like to have to juggle motherhood and a career. I also know what is it like to be a stay-at-home mum after having been one for eight months. Being a full-time working mum is a constant battle to ensure that you spend quality time with your children yet perform well, if not beyond expections, at the office. The last thing we need is to be told that we should quit and choose either as this is not an easy decision that one makes over a cup of coffee. Many working mums are that (working mums) by force and not by choice. If we had it our way, we would all resign and be stay-at-home mums. But in this day and age, with rising costs of living and mouths to feed, it is not right or realistic to suggest that a pregnant woman should resign or even take unpaid leave. While it may be the case for certain industries like the airline, in general, a healthy pregnant woman can still contribute to the office.

Many companies abroad allow for paid maternity leave of up to six months and they have yet to go bankrupt; I’m very sure that not every woman out there is dying to get pregnant just to get six months of paid leave. My company is one of the few here in Singapore that allows pregnant employees to take up to 16 weeks of paid maternity leave. There is a reason as to why women need maternity leave and a longer one than the current 90 days. It takes time to cope and adjust with caring for a newborn and not everyone gets into parenthood quickly and easily. The risk of postnatal depression is still there and will stay there for the first year so it’s vital that new mothers are well-cared for. Also, if one is breastfeeding, it takes up to two months for milk supply to establish and this is done better if the baby is fed directly and the mother is allowed to rest and relax.

If Demori’s feedback were to really be true, mothers and ultimately couples would worry and fight more often over money. I had the privilege of watching my daughter grow and be part of the process, the milestones and so forth BUT I also have lost count of the number of fights my husband and I had about money. Thus I caution many of my friends to think long and hard before they quit their jobs for life as a stay-at-home mum.

Also, companies have a social responsibility to care for their employees. It’s expensive to retrain a new person to take over the task every time a pregnant women quits her job (as per Demori’s suggestion). It’s also risky and costly for companies in the business of project management, publishing and such as these tasks need the familiarity that comes from hands-on experience.

Demori is wrong to say that pregnant women should not be paid for doing nothing. They are doing something – being mothers. Developed countries like the European nations have long recognized one vital thing that women contribute to the nation and that’s caring for the future generation.

That is a task that deserves every bit of recognition and perhaps more.

Oh, after doing some digging around, did you know that in Switzerland, it’s illegal to fire a pregnant woman? And in Sweden, you can take up to SIXTEEN months of paid maternity leave and fathers are required by law to use two out of the sixteen months to be more involved in parenthood. The cost? It’s borned by both the company and the state. No wonder they say that the Scandinavian countries are one of the best places to live in the world.

The Bangkok riots
Who sends women and children to do their dirty work? What are these people thinking of when they choose to participate in an event that has the potential to get very dirty and nasty? What happened to Thailand? It’s as if the Land of Smiles disappeared overnight and suddenly one of the most peaceful people on Earth went bonkers and joined the rest of humanity in its madness.

The funeral of Dr Goh Keng Swee
Would he have achieved so much in his lifetime if Singapore was still part of Malaya? Did he really advise Lee Kuan Yew to break with Malaysia or is it just what they want us to hear? I wonder if Lee Kuan Yew will get the same grand funeral when he passes on. Hm.

South vs North Korea
Watching this reminds me of one thing and one thing alone – boys fighting over toys. Of course part of me wants to believe and say outload that this is perfectly logical and alright but sometimes I cannot help but feel that it’s nothing but stupid stupid pride. While these two grown men are fighting over the sinking of a submarine, did anyone stop to consider what their people have to go through? The embargoes, the trade halts…what about those living along the border?

Yes, it has definitely been one funky month – of course there have been more stories but hey, I’m occupied with a lot of other things these days! *kekeke*

When I was a singleton (read: married with no kids/still dating), Mother’s Day was a day that we celebrated because it just seemed wrong to do so. We went through the motions of buying gifts like hand dryers or going out for dinner for my mum; maybe even take over the housechores or go all out to be ultra nice. The real trials and tribulations of being a mum was never really understood, accepted or truly appreciated.

Sure, I appreciate my mum BUT it’s just words that most of us say.

Until we ourselves become mothers.

A cousin of mine is celebrating Mother’s Day mostly at the hospital – she gave birth earlier than usual and her baby battled a first few days in NICU before she was moved to the ward but she isn’t out of the hospital and my cousin spends the first couple of weeks of motherhood in the hospital, surrounded by nurses, doctors and a little baby who has a tube sticking out of her. Talk about a rocky start.

Not all of us are so fortunate to be celebrating Mother’s Day with that one particular family member. I know of friends who have lost their own mothers to accidents, sickness (mostly cancer) and old age. For them, motherhood is about being touched by someone who has seen them through it all but not everything, and today, it is about remembering that someone and the love that she gave.

For new mothers like myself, we take stock of how far we have become yet depending on our circumstance, are unable to celebrate. In my case, I’m at home alone with this laptop and watching Lilo & Stitch with a teething half-naked napping-in-her-room baby who has no idea that Mother’s Day is today yet for the most part, I am okay with not being drowned in good wishes or gifts. A smile, a laugh is good enough, especially if you’re a full-time working mother.

That’s actually how it is in reality for many mothers – new and jaded, young and all. Mother’s Day is an every day affair for us – remembering the ups and downs of being a mum, being enchanted/annoyed/entranced by the antics of our babies and telling ourselves AND really believing that despite it all, being a mum is something we would NEVER give up or change. It is a journey that we celebrate on a daily basis.

So instead of celebrating motherhood just today, take the time out to reflect on the journey you have taken as a mother AND the journey your mum has taken. Afterwhich, make Mother’s Day an every day affair. Mothers everywhere need the appreciation and encouragement every day, not just today.

For the sake of posterity, Happy Mother’s Day!