If there was every such a thing as a stomach transplant, I’d be the first to sign up.

I mean I’m happy with my body and my face (of course it could be better but I don’t wish for big changes). I can fix some things like my jelly belly or go for blackhead treatments to remove those nasties but this is something that I’m quite fed up of.

I have been going through bouts of food poisoning since my return from Australia in 2002. I don’t know if it was the food or the weather or what, but since my return, I catch food poisoning more often than the flu/cold! The first was two weeks after my return – I went head-on with some Northern Indian food. Left me incapacitated for at least a week. Since then, I go through food poisoning bouts in various degrees of intensity at least once a month!!!!

Things got better when I moved to Switzerland and I noticed chicken porridge always help but the pattern was the same – so long as the food item tastes remotely off or is undercooked (especially fish or seafood), I can be prepared for a longggggg night and a very tiring day of recovery. Along the way I discovered that drowning myself in charcoal pills, Smecta as well as probiotic pills help but it didn’t mean I wasn’t suffering.

Haiz. Now I’m back in Singapore and this is like my fourth or fifth episode – I’ve lost count. So I’m wondering. Is it just me or food preparation here sucks big time (it always happens after I eat out)?

*sigh*

A while back, many people back home (in Malaysia) were talking about car safety for children. Just some background information; car seats are not compulsory in Malaysia and as such, many people just belt up their children or toddlers and carry babies in their arms. I have come across people who seat their children on their laps in the front seat – passenger and once, driver as well (it was a grandfather and his grandchild). I have seen a small Kancil crammed full with four adults with a child on their lap each. It is no wonder that when accidents occur, if there are children in the car, they were surely either die or end up critically injured.

I couldn’t understand the rational behind not using a car seat. People were willing to pay hundreds for things like acne treatment and spas but would forgo the money for a car seat. So after reading a letter published by a safety association in Malaysia (calling for tighter laws and for parents to use the car seat), I decided to share my viewpoints. Note that it’s the same here in Singapore, although of lesser degree. As usual, my letter got chopped off so here’s the full piece:

Dear Editor,

I was very happy to see the letter “Vital to belt up the little ones” and would like to add on further to what has been said.

Nearly a year ago, I moved from Switzerland to Singapore, and consequently closer to Malaysia where my parents are. With me in tow was my French husband and my one month old daughter. We didn’t own a car then and we still don’t own a car. But we never fail to put her in a car seat whenever we can, be it in a taxi or a bus. We have been asked many times before to take her out of the car seat and stroller when we board the bus but we always refuse. Reason being that if anything were to happen, my daughter is safer in her car seat than out of it.

My husband comes from a country where car seats are mandatory by law and for a good reason. So we had a mini culture shock when we arrived in Singapore/Malaysia to sights of children unbelted in the back seat to babies being held by passengers in the front seat.

Here, many new parents and even new grandparents always forgo the car seat because they feel that their baby will be uncomfortable or that it’s too expensive. The most common excuse that we’ve heard is “It’s just a short ride”. It is frustrating to see this sort of behaviour in parents who will go on to mould our future generation. What these parents are doing is nothing short of a gamble and a very pricey gamble where the stakes is the life of your own child.

New parents often leave the car seat behind and opt to carry newborns when they leave the hospital for that first trip home. Their reason is because their babies will be uncomfortable or that they don’t get enough neck support. A car seat has been designed to keep your newborn safe and comfortable – not either one. If you were slam on the brakes for whatever reason, your baby would have more neck support in the seat than if they were in your arms.

The older generation will often forgo the use of car seats because they are too expensive, “it’s just a short ride” or “you’ve never had to use them and you’re fine” but fail to realize that when we were growing up, there were less cars and consequently, less bad drivers on the road. The amount you spend may be a lot but car seats are meant to last for a number of years so it’s actually worth the investment. Plus it’s cheaper than paying for the hospital bills should anything happen. There is never such a thing as “just a short ride” – you can end up making a detour here and there. Also, anything can happen within that second; I have seen accidents happened within a short stretch of 100m so what more 3 km?

Other parents chide the excuse that their children bawl and wail once they are in the car seat so they let them into cars without one. They fail to understand that you need to start training your children from young to sit in a car seat and that means starting from birth. If you’re just starting now, it’s great but it’ll take some time and that’s where you come in as a disciplinarian. Most parenting books regarding discipline tells you that while you may opt to relax some rules, there are some which just cannot be bend and these are often those regarding safety like holding your child’s hand while crossing the road and using a car seat. What message are you sending to your child about their safety?

New parents need to understand that putting your child in a car seat is not just about safety. It is about teaching your child some responsibility and discipline. My husband’s nephew and niece were in car seats up till the recommended age – around six – and even though they are hyperactive children who cannot sit still, they know that once they are in a car seat, it’s time to belt up and sit down. In fact, his niece at nearly four years old, would refuse to go anywhere in a car without her car seat; she would take the car seat from the garage and place it in the car before climbing in. Can we say the same proudly for any of our children?

Any child’s life is never worth the gamble and the risk, so why are we playing this deadly game?

Sincerely,
Mabel TEOH
Singapore

** Cross-posted on the baby blog **

Yes, that’s right. I’m going back to the gym. You see, I’m quite tired of seeing the blubber staring right back at me in the mirror every day. So I signed up for a year’s membership.

Now a lot of people will scoff and say that there is no reason to sign up with a gym because you just need to jog around the park, there is something they need to understand – I just do not have the time to go around the park since I reach home at 7pm (earliest!) every night and Eva needs to be in bed by 830pm. Leaving her alone just to go up and down the 10 flights of stairs is not a solution – in fact, it’s downright dangerous!

I have no maid, no helper, no parents and no in-laws so I tackle everything together with Nil – cooking, laundry, cleaning. It is tiring, especially after a long day at work, and I especially hate it when people tell me that I should do more. Please, I am no superwoman.

Anyway, the gym is just around the corner from the office so it allows me to squeeze in some exercise during lunch. I could go before work starts but that means leaving the house at 630am – not an option considering that I sleep around midnight every day because of the stuff I have to do after reaching home. Lunch time it is then. While I was there, I am gently reminded of how I miss going to the gym and just doing my own thing, sweating it out. I could put work behind and just relax – no one to bother me (I did insist on not having a personal trainer even though they offered a free session – after the last time, I learnt my lesson well).

I’m hoping that with time and continued discipline on my part, I’ll be able to say goodbye to some blubber (I know I’m never going to be stick thin – I’ve always been curvy – but at least I’ll be healthier) without the aid of supplements, even if it’s the best fat burning supplement around!

Inspired by an idea followed by some random pattern search on Etsy, I decided to go ahead with thoughts of making Eva a simple dress. I know, I have too many hobbies and ideas, and then to go randomly searching for things like groomsmen gifts at redenvelope.com. Sometimes I don’t follow through with those ideas but this time, no way! I just had to try my hand at it.

Now, I have quite a bit of fabric in my stash but none were suitable for a baby girl’s dress except the brown animal print (see below). So I scheduled a trip to Spotlight here in Singapore in search of some complimentary prints after having decided on the pattern. I hadn’t really anticipate to find anything interesting in terms of cute baby prints but was pleasantly surprised to discover that they had stocked some very cute children’s print under the quilting section.

Why quilting cotton? Well, I could have opted for knit cotton but I didn’t find any interesting prints and I didn’t really feel comfortable matching different weight and feel fabrics together. I bought a few matching prints and at the cashier’s, promptly felt the pinch. At least three of the prints cost way more than what I would have paid if I order it online. Hai.

Anyway, now that I’ve got them, it’s only a matter of time before you see something yummy on this blog! Watch out for the next post…one cute dress is going to pop up!!!

I chanced upon a little news going on back at home in Malaysia while looking around for info on apidexin. On Saturday, the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry of Malaysia together with OrphanCare set up the country’s first baby hatch with the purposes of taking in abandoned babies or help mothers who are unable to care for children. While the measure is welcomed by some groups and even myself, I do feel that it does little to address the actual root of the problem – teenage pregnancies.

Too often we have read of teenagers getting pregnant and giving birth without knowing what is happening to their bodies. Doesn’t this speak volumes of the kind of education that these individuals are receiving from the family unit, the education system and ultimately society? It’s bad enough that we don’t really talk about sex in schools. Sure, we know what a penis and a vagina is and what happens when sperm encounters eggs but we don’t discuss about the emotional implications that comes with sex. We make sex and birth control so technical that young people don’t know how to apply that knowledge to reality. All that education we put into their heads is vomited out the moment they leave school.

Case in point? Well, I actually know of people – young women to be exact – who go around having unprotected sex and bank on the chance that they won’t get pregnant only to go through a number of abortions. Their reasons for ditching birth control can ranging from the stupid to the unbelievable:

• It’s not my responsibility to buy condoms.
• It’s too expensive.
• My boyfriend doesn’t like the feel of condoms.
• It won’t happen to me because (insert reasons like “my period is irregular” and all that nonsense).
• My boyfriend should be more worried about me getting pregnant than I am.

I have lost count of the number of times I’ve had to explain to young women that wearing a condom isn’t about preventing pregnancy alone. It’s about protecting your sexual health. Did you know that 30% of new HIV cases in Malaysia happen to married women who catch it from their husbands? So what more to young women who are just dating or sexually active with many men? Lord knows what you can catch from your spouse, especially in this day and age when ANYTHING is possible.

Why I drag parents into the equation is that it’s the parent’s responsibility as well to go through “the birds and the bees” talk with their children and lend a more realistic perspective on sex. I’m not talking about talks that go along the lines of “having sex makes you a cheap whore”. Please, that is very wrong. Children, especially those who are reaching that age where their hormones drive them crazy, need to know that it’s okay to have sex; they just make sure that it’s safe sex and to have sex responsibly. I found it pleasant and even inspiring to hear how my mother-in-law told my husband where the condoms were and that he was welcomed to use them when he first became sexually active. No lectures, no witch hunt, no labelling. Just support and understanding.

Why I dragged society into the equation is that we need to move away from addressing problems with short term solutions. We need to find out why teenage pregnancies are climbing and what we can do about it, not just give teenagers an easy way out with an ad that probably reads like this – “Pregnant? No where to go? Dump your baby with us and we’ll do the rest.” How can we be sure that people walk away from their mistakes smarter?

And while we’re at it, where are all the fathers? Still out sowing their wild oats. Much heap and blame plus shame have been heaped onto pregnant young mothers but what about the men who impregnate them?

The baby hatch idea is a good short-term solution but more needs to be done to change the attitude that teenagers have about pregnancy, sex and well, parenthood.

Can you believe it? My first day at work and I’m sensing the beginnings of a flu bug! Talk about starting off with a bang!

Anyway, I’m all pooped out from work, the 30-minute walk after picking Eva up from the babysitter followed by the usual – a bath, feed & bath Eva, cook dinner (well, sort of), and do the diaper laundry before having dinner. After a simple salad and a couple of minutes in front of the TV, here I am in front of the laptop looking at promotional umbrellas – my trusty handbag-sized one broke a couple of weeks back so am on the lookout for a replacement.

Of course, my eyes keep closing for a few extra seconds only to open again – yes, I’m falling asleep even while typing this. Normally, I’m not this tired but Eva kept us up last night due to a crying-teething-constant waking up spell. She ended up snoozing in our bed with us after a dose of paracetemol and with the air-conditioning turned on. Of course she slept mostly on my side of the bed…

Hence my zombie-like state now.

Anyway, more on the office and first day at work another time. Am going for a snooze before my next “milk bar” time. Ta!

As of today, we are officially property owners! The 4% of the property price that is due at the expiry of the Option To Purchase came through yesterday thanks to my parents and as such, our lawyer has decided to exercise the Option today.

An Option To Purchase (OTP) is a document that is issued by the seller or the seller’s agent, stating the intent on purchasing the property with the payment of 1% of the property price. The OTP is also known as Earnest Monies in countries abroad and it basically means that you have the intention of buying this property, so the seller will push away all potential offers. However, OTPs here have a lifespan of two weeks and by the end of the two weeks, the buyer has to sign the document and provide 4% of the purchase price in order to exercise it. Otherwise, the buyer forfeits the 1%.

In our case, that 1% is a lot of money – nearly two months’ salary – so we had quite a stressful time this week ensuring that our 4% would come in while juggling dyeing, working on bpi training assignments and so forth. It didn’t. No thanks to the volcano eruption and subsequent closure of European airports, the bank couldn’t facilitate the transfer in time so we had to look somewhere else to help us make the payment. We have the money; it just wasn’t coming in fast enough!!! Luckily, my parents had the cash and they did a telegraphic transfer which cleared yesterday – just in time for the lawyer to exercise the option.

So in future to all you peeps who are staying abroad and wish to buy a property where you are – don’t be like Nil and myself, and wait till you lay down the Option to transfer down some money. Start the transfer at least two-three weeks BEFORE you go house-hunting lest Murphy’s law does hit you right smack in the arse!

Anyway, after having said all that…we are now property owners!!!! w00t!

After the mad rush of papers, contacting people left and right (while sourcing around for best acne treatment), we got some very good news!

Our housing loan has been approved – thank you God – despite the fact that I’m only starting work in May and am without a payslip for now. The bank has kindly used my employment contract instead and one of the requirements for the loan is that Nil and myself refurbish them with an payslip for April (him) and May (myself). But otherwise, everything is ready to go, monetarily, that is.

The housing loans here do not work on a fixed interest rate but instead the bank we picked use what is called a SIBOR or interbank interest rate whereby the interest fluctuates or better know in common terms as a floating rate. For now and in Singapore, according to the banker, floating rates are better for the current housing market as they are about 25% lower than fixed interest rates. This may differ hugely from France and Malaysia whereby floating interest rates are steep compared to fixed ones. One thing good about our loan package is that it is not locked. This is to say that if we feel that the current SIBOR rates are not compatible, we can change to a fixed interest rate package and vice-versa again. There are no penalties and no hidden charges.

The bank we picked also has a reducing interest rate on top of the SIBOR which is quite different from other banks. This is a good thing, especially now when the SIBOR rates are around 0.6%. Based on the banker’s rough calculations (sans a financial calculator at hand), we’re looking at a mortgage of $1.6K per month which is just perfect for us as it’s still within our budget. Of course we’ll be paying back Nil’s dad and my parents for some part of the down payment but it’s still quite affordable.

Now that the loan has been settled, it’s off to the lawyer’s office to prepare the other necessaries. My next concern will be facilitating the payment of the 7% of the purchase price (3% stamp duty – to the goverment – and 4% to the seller via the lawyer). Hopefully, it’ll be ready come middle of next week! *keeps finger crossed*