A while back, many people back home (in Malaysia) were talking about car safety for children. Just some background information; car seats are not compulsory in Malaysia and as such, many people just belt up their children or toddlers and carry babies in their arms. I have come across people who seat their children on their laps in the front seat – passenger and once, driver as well (it was a grandfather and his grandchild). I have seen a small Kancil crammed full with four adults with a child on their lap each. It is no wonder that when accidents occur, if there are children in the car, they were surely either die or end up critically injured.

I couldn’t understand the rational behind not using a car seat. People were willing to pay hundreds for things like acne treatment and spas but would forgo the money for a car seat. So after reading a letter published by a safety association in Malaysia (calling for tighter laws and for parents to use the car seat), I decided to share my viewpoints. Note that it’s the same here in Singapore, although of lesser degree. As usual, my letter got chopped off so here’s the full piece:

Dear Editor,

I was very happy to see the letter “Vital to belt up the little ones” and would like to add on further to what has been said.

Nearly a year ago, I moved from Switzerland to Singapore, and consequently closer to Malaysia where my parents are. With me in tow was my French husband and my one month old daughter. We didn’t own a car then and we still don’t own a car. But we never fail to put her in a car seat whenever we can, be it in a taxi or a bus. We have been asked many times before to take her out of the car seat and stroller when we board the bus but we always refuse. Reason being that if anything were to happen, my daughter is safer in her car seat than out of it.

My husband comes from a country where car seats are mandatory by law and for a good reason. So we had a mini culture shock when we arrived in Singapore/Malaysia to sights of children unbelted in the back seat to babies being held by passengers in the front seat.

Here, many new parents and even new grandparents always forgo the car seat because they feel that their baby will be uncomfortable or that it’s too expensive. The most common excuse that we’ve heard is “It’s just a short ride”. It is frustrating to see this sort of behaviour in parents who will go on to mould our future generation. What these parents are doing is nothing short of a gamble and a very pricey gamble where the stakes is the life of your own child.

New parents often leave the car seat behind and opt to carry newborns when they leave the hospital for that first trip home. Their reason is because their babies will be uncomfortable or that they don’t get enough neck support. A car seat has been designed to keep your newborn safe and comfortable – not either one. If you were slam on the brakes for whatever reason, your baby would have more neck support in the seat than if they were in your arms.

The older generation will often forgo the use of car seats because they are too expensive, “it’s just a short ride” or “you’ve never had to use them and you’re fine” but fail to realize that when we were growing up, there were less cars and consequently, less bad drivers on the road. The amount you spend may be a lot but car seats are meant to last for a number of years so it’s actually worth the investment. Plus it’s cheaper than paying for the hospital bills should anything happen. There is never such a thing as “just a short ride” – you can end up making a detour here and there. Also, anything can happen within that second; I have seen accidents happened within a short stretch of 100m so what more 3 km?

Other parents chide the excuse that their children bawl and wail once they are in the car seat so they let them into cars without one. They fail to understand that you need to start training your children from young to sit in a car seat and that means starting from birth. If you’re just starting now, it’s great but it’ll take some time and that’s where you come in as a disciplinarian. Most parenting books regarding discipline tells you that while you may opt to relax some rules, there are some which just cannot be bend and these are often those regarding safety like holding your child’s hand while crossing the road and using a car seat. What message are you sending to your child about their safety?

New parents need to understand that putting your child in a car seat is not just about safety. It is about teaching your child some responsibility and discipline. My husband’s nephew and niece were in car seats up till the recommended age – around six – and even though they are hyperactive children who cannot sit still, they know that once they are in a car seat, it’s time to belt up and sit down. In fact, his niece at nearly four years old, would refuse to go anywhere in a car without her car seat; she would take the car seat from the garage and place it in the car before climbing in. Can we say the same proudly for any of our children?

Any child’s life is never worth the gamble and the risk, so why are we playing this deadly game?

Sincerely,
Mabel TEOH
Singapore

** Cross-posted on the baby blog **