When I was a singleton (read: married with no kids/still dating), Mother’s Day was a day that we celebrated because it just seemed wrong to do so. We went through the motions of buying gifts like hand dryers or going out for dinner for my mum; maybe even take over the housechores or go all out to be ultra nice. The real trials and tribulations of being a mum was never really understood, accepted or truly appreciated.

Sure, I appreciate my mum BUT it’s just words that most of us say.

Until we ourselves become mothers.

A cousin of mine is celebrating Mother’s Day mostly at the hospital – she gave birth earlier than usual and her baby battled a first few days in NICU before she was moved to the ward but she isn’t out of the hospital and my cousin spends the first couple of weeks of motherhood in the hospital, surrounded by nurses, doctors and a little baby who has a tube sticking out of her. Talk about a rocky start.

Not all of us are so fortunate to be celebrating Mother’s Day with that one particular family member. I know of friends who have lost their own mothers to accidents, sickness (mostly cancer) and old age. For them, motherhood is about being touched by someone who has seen them through it all but not everything, and today, it is about remembering that someone and the love that she gave.

For new mothers like myself, we take stock of how far we have become yet depending on our circumstance, are unable to celebrate. In my case, I’m at home alone with this laptop and watching Lilo & Stitch with a teething half-naked napping-in-her-room baby who has no idea that Mother’s Day is today yet for the most part, I am okay with not being drowned in good wishes or gifts. A smile, a laugh is good enough, especially if you’re a full-time working mother.

That’s actually how it is in reality for many mothers – new and jaded, young and all. Mother’s Day is an every day affair for us – remembering the ups and downs of being a mum, being enchanted/annoyed/entranced by the antics of our babies and telling ourselves AND really believing that despite it all, being a mum is something we would NEVER give up or change. It is a journey that we celebrate on a daily basis.

So instead of celebrating motherhood just today, take the time out to reflect on the journey you have taken as a mother AND the journey your mum has taken. Afterwhich, make Mother’s Day an every day affair. Mothers everywhere need the appreciation and encouragement every day, not just today.

For the sake of posterity, Happy Mother’s Day!