I chanced upon a little news going on back at home in Malaysia while looking around for info on apidexin. On Saturday, the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry of Malaysia together with OrphanCare set up the country’s first baby hatch with the purposes of taking in abandoned babies or help mothers who are unable to care for children. While the measure is welcomed by some groups and even myself, I do feel that it does little to address the actual root of the problem – teenage pregnancies.

Too often we have read of teenagers getting pregnant and giving birth without knowing what is happening to their bodies. Doesn’t this speak volumes of the kind of education that these individuals are receiving from the family unit, the education system and ultimately society? It’s bad enough that we don’t really talk about sex in schools. Sure, we know what a penis and a vagina is and what happens when sperm encounters eggs but we don’t discuss about the emotional implications that comes with sex. We make sex and birth control so technical that young people don’t know how to apply that knowledge to reality. All that education we put into their heads is vomited out the moment they leave school.

Case in point? Well, I actually know of people – young women to be exact – who go around having unprotected sex and bank on the chance that they won’t get pregnant only to go through a number of abortions. Their reasons for ditching birth control can ranging from the stupid to the unbelievable:

• It’s not my responsibility to buy condoms.
• It’s too expensive.
• My boyfriend doesn’t like the feel of condoms.
• It won’t happen to me because (insert reasons like “my period is irregular” and all that nonsense).
• My boyfriend should be more worried about me getting pregnant than I am.

I have lost count of the number of times I’ve had to explain to young women that wearing a condom isn’t about preventing pregnancy alone. It’s about protecting your sexual health. Did you know that 30% of new HIV cases in Malaysia happen to married women who catch it from their husbands? So what more to young women who are just dating or sexually active with many men? Lord knows what you can catch from your spouse, especially in this day and age when ANYTHING is possible.

Why I drag parents into the equation is that it’s the parent’s responsibility as well to go through “the birds and the bees” talk with their children and lend a more realistic perspective on sex. I’m not talking about talks that go along the lines of “having sex makes you a cheap whore”. Please, that is very wrong. Children, especially those who are reaching that age where their hormones drive them crazy, need to know that it’s okay to have sex; they just make sure that it’s safe sex and to have sex responsibly. I found it pleasant and even inspiring to hear how my mother-in-law told my husband where the condoms were and that he was welcomed to use them when he first became sexually active. No lectures, no witch hunt, no labelling. Just support and understanding.

Why I dragged society into the equation is that we need to move away from addressing problems with short term solutions. We need to find out why teenage pregnancies are climbing and what we can do about it, not just give teenagers an easy way out with an ad that probably reads like this – “Pregnant? No where to go? Dump your baby with us and we’ll do the rest.” How can we be sure that people walk away from their mistakes smarter?

And while we’re at it, where are all the fathers? Still out sowing their wild oats. Much heap and blame plus shame have been heaped onto pregnant young mothers but what about the men who impregnate them?

The baby hatch idea is a good short-term solution but more needs to be done to change the attitude that teenagers have about pregnancy, sex and well, parenthood.

Did you know that we’re this close to Eva’s first birthday????

Amidst all the assignments (eczema treatment and fat burners are pretty popular topics for my blog – do you know why?), work and trying to relax, I suddenly realized that we are two months away from someone turning the big one year old! While many mums have started planning big bashes and such, this mum is sort of taking it easy by keeping things a little quiet and well, slow-going.

Of course there’ll be a cake but I haven’t really given it much thought and while my parents have planned to be around during the weekend of her birthday, I guess it’ll just be us and a cake. Talk about ultra small and low-key.

Will this set the tone for many other birthdays to come? We’ll see but for now, I think small and low-key is just fine.

The last time I went back to Kuala Lumpur, I didn’t really have a chance to go shopping for things and really look at prices. This time, I did. I had to get a few work outfits as well as several pair of shoes, but sad to say, after one outing to the mall, I only walked away with four tops and a damaged wallet (and of course, a work/walkout that is enough to rival any of the top fat burners around). Well, I was expecting the damage to the wallet but not the number of tops I got.

My tops came mostly from PADINI, a place that I used to get a number of my work outfits, shoes and some casual wear. They’ve always had some nice tops that are great for work and the prices then were quite affordable. Then would be the keyword. I got a shock on Friday when I went to check them out. RM110 for a blouse!!!! What the heck happened to paying just RM60-70? Apparently, it was the same in other places and even worse in some stores. In one store, a blouse can hit up to RM160! Gosh.

Dollar to dollar, suddenly living costs in Malaysia have shot up considerably. This was most evident when it came to food, toys and clothing. Of course there are some places you could go to get well-priced outfits but in general, I have come to understand why some people complain about the living costs in Malaysia. We spent RM14 on a breakfast-brunch of paus and a bowl of noodles went for around RM4. Before I go on, you have to understand that even though my salary in Singaporean dollar, I don’t do the whole forex thing when I talk about living costs in a country. This is because you need to factor in the local salaries and from what I understand, Malaysian salaries have not gone up much at all. Also, the thing about forex change is that if you go shopping in a country where its currency is low, of course everything would be cheap for you but that’s not how you should compare living costs/standards.

In fact, if one were to compare the living costs in Singapore versus Malaysia, food, clothing and even kids toys are expensive in Malaysia. The same toy in Singapore which would have cost me SGD35 retails for RM80 plus in Malaysia. The same top in Singapore would go for SGD30-40 but in Malaysia, retails for anywhere between RM50 to RM150. The same pair of pants in Singapore would go for SGD30 but in Malaysia, retails for at least RM60 or more. Food? A plate of chicken rice in Singapore costs SGD2-3 but in Malaysia, can hit up to RM6.

Maybe it’s just me.

Malaysians, do you feel that living costs have gone up?

I usually don’t follow the newspapers back at home because it adds more stress than I care to have with work and assignments like apidexin reviews but this morning, I stumbled upon a friend’s Facebook status and was simply drawn to the article.

Of lately, I have taken a great interest in opinions and stories that revolve around family welfare and particularly, motherhood. There has been much talk in Malaysia about lengthening the stretch of maternity leave to 90 days instead of the current 60 days. We appear to be one of the few nations out there who still pay out less than 90 days of maternity leave to female workers. Just some interesting information – did you know that Pakistan, Bangladesh, Afghanistan and Vietnam provides its female workers with at least 3-6 mths of paid maternity leave? Even Singaporean companies give out at least 12-16 weeks of 100% paid maternity leave.

Anyway, this writer sends in her article as a response to current calls for longer maternity leave and boy o’ boy, did it create a ruckus…online. Here are some of the “interesting” bits.

However, no reasonable woman, working or not, would argue that she should be paid while she is not working. Paying a salary to a person that is not fulfilling his or her job description is economically disadvantageous to the employer and to the economy at large.

…

By asking for ridiculously generous benefits, women’s rights activists have bankrupted uncountable companies in the West and now they are trying to do the same here.

…

A pregnant woman should resign, or take unpaid leave until her child is born and until he is big enough for her to return to work. Pregnant women are already unable to fulfil their duties because their condition does not usually allow them to perform as they should. The position left vacant should be filled by temporary or contract workers.

Women should not be selfish and think they can have it all, and lawyers should consider that human rights are subservient to the performance of the economy. Every right has a price, and having no job gives you no money to pay for your rights.

…

*sigh*

No wonder they say that the biggest criticisers of women are women themselves. Of course I wrote a statement in response to that letter. Of course I found some bits of it to be preposterous to say the least. I wonder if it’ll see the light of day though. Here’s my response…

Dear Editor,

I refer to Ms Marisa Demori’s letter to the Editor dated 24 May and am sad to find that a woman would form such opinions when many countless women out there – married or otherwise – are fighting for longer maternity leave.

I have had the pleasure and privilege of living in a number of countries and along the way have noted that these countries take the necessary steps to protect mothers be it single or married, working or otherwise. In fact, in France, single mothers are given more benefits than any other out there mainly because of their circumstances. In Singapore, full-time working female citizens with children are given an infant/childcare subsidy so that they can find a certified, good caregiver for their children while they are at work. No one opposes because of one thing – these women are raising the next generation and could do a whole lot better if they had less to worry about.

Being a new mother, I know what it’s like to have to juggle motherhood and a career. I also know what is it like to be a stay-at-home mum after having been one for eight months. Being a full-time working mum is a constant battle to ensure that you spend quality time with your children yet perform well, if not beyond expections, at the office. The last thing we need is to be told that we should quit and choose either as this is not an easy decision that one makes over a cup of coffee. Many working mums are that (working mums) by force and not by choice. If we had it our way, we would all resign and be stay-at-home mums. But in this day and age, with rising costs of living and mouths to feed, it is not right or realistic to suggest that a pregnant woman should resign or even take unpaid leave. While it may be the case for certain industries like the airline, in general, a healthy pregnant woman can still contribute to the office.

Many companies abroad allow for paid maternity leave of up to six months and they have yet to go bankrupt; I’m very sure that not every woman out there is dying to get pregnant just to get six months of paid leave. My company is one of the few here in Singapore that allows pregnant employees to take up to 16 weeks of paid maternity leave. There is a reason as to why women need maternity leave and a longer one than the current 90 days. It takes time to cope and adjust with caring for a newborn and not everyone gets into parenthood quickly and easily. The risk of postnatal depression is still there and will stay there for the first year so it’s vital that new mothers are well-cared for. Also, if one is breastfeeding, it takes up to two months for milk supply to establish and this is done better if the baby is fed directly and the mother is allowed to rest and relax.

If Demori’s feedback were to really be true, mothers and ultimately couples would worry and fight more often over money. I had the privilege of watching my daughter grow and be part of the process, the milestones and so forth BUT I also have lost count of the number of fights my husband and I had about money. Thus I caution many of my friends to think long and hard before they quit their jobs for life as a stay-at-home mum.

Also, companies have a social responsibility to care for their employees. It’s expensive to retrain a new person to take over the task every time a pregnant women quits her job (as per Demori’s suggestion). It’s also risky and costly for companies in the business of project management, publishing and such as these tasks need the familiarity that comes from hands-on experience.

Demori is wrong to say that pregnant women should not be paid for doing nothing. They are doing something – being mothers. Developed countries like the European nations have long recognized one vital thing that women contribute to the nation and that’s caring for the future generation.

That is a task that deserves every bit of recognition and perhaps more.

Oh, after doing some digging around, did you know that in Switzerland, it’s illegal to fire a pregnant woman? And in Sweden, you can take up to SIXTEEN months of paid maternity leave and fathers are required by law to use two out of the sixteen months to be more involved in parenthood. The cost? It’s borned by both the company and the state. No wonder they say that the Scandinavian countries are one of the best places to live in the world.

May has been one crazy week in this part of Asia. Now that I’ve started work and thus am accompanied by the radio during the day (thanks to my headphones), I’ve been following the news unintentionally. Of course sometimes the programs are littered with talk show topics like credit card processing and debts, Indian accents and so forth. A few headlines, though, caught my attention and I had a few snippets of thoughts here and there about it.

The Bangkok riots
Who sends women and children to do their dirty work? What are these people thinking of when they choose to participate in an event that has the potential to get very dirty and nasty? What happened to Thailand? It’s as if the Land of Smiles disappeared overnight and suddenly one of the most peaceful people on Earth went bonkers and joined the rest of humanity in its madness.

The funeral of Dr Goh Keng Swee
Would he have achieved so much in his lifetime if Singapore was still part of Malaya? Did he really advise Lee Kuan Yew to break with Malaysia or is it just what they want us to hear? I wonder if Lee Kuan Yew will get the same grand funeral when he passes on. Hm.

South vs North Korea
Watching this reminds me of one thing and one thing alone – boys fighting over toys. Of course part of me wants to believe and say outload that this is perfectly logical and alright but sometimes I cannot help but feel that it’s nothing but stupid stupid pride. While these two grown men are fighting over the sinking of a submarine, did anyone stop to consider what their people have to go through? The embargoes, the trade halts…what about those living along the border?

Yes, it has definitely been one funky month – of course there have been more stories but hey, I’m occupied with a lot of other things these days! *kekeke*

Ply | Three
Yardage | 280.4 m
WPI | Fingering
Fibre | Merino-Silk
Tool | Serenity Wheel [5.5:1 ratio]

Spin spin spin…that’s all I can say. LOL!

Sometimes I really run out of things to say about my handspun yarns. I guess it’s due to the fact that I go through one fiber after another and then a longggg pause during the spinning process that I forget whatever it is that I’ve been facing with that particular project.

But one thing is for sure – spinning regularly helps to keep things even! So now that that is out of the way, it’s back to the wheel for me!

I knew from the moment I first heard this song that it was the right one for my wedding. Bear in mind that I don’t really listen to a whole lot of Christian contemporary music – prefer gospels – but while searching around for that non-cheesy and meaningful wedding song, I chanced upon this one. How exactly, I can’t really remember. I just knew that it was perfect and it spoke of how we came to be.

Now, nearly three years later, as I listen to this song again during my journey to work, I’m gently reminded of the feelings the song evoked, why I chose it and more specifically/importantly, how far my marriage has come and has to continue on. It’s uplifting and well, meaningful, and so I’m sharing the lyrics with you. You can listen to a sample of it here and then there is Youtube. *winks*

When God Made You by Newsong and Natalie Grant

It’s always been a mystery to me,
How two hearts can come together,
And love can last forever.
But now that I have found you I believe,
That a miracle has come when God sends the perfect one.
So gone are all my questions about why,
And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life

Oh I wonder what God was thinking,when He created you.
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because He made all my dreams come true.
When God made you, He must have been thinking about me.

I promise that wherever you may go, wherever life may lead you,
With all my heart I’ll be there too.
And from this moment on I want you to know,
I’ll let nothing come between us, and I will love the ones you love.
So gone are all my questions about why

Oh I wonder what God was thinking when He created you,
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because He made all my dreams come true.
When God made you He must’ve been thinking about me.

He made the sun, He made the moon,
To harmonize a perfect tune,
One can’t do without the other they just have to be together.
And that is how I know its true,
Your for me and i’m for you and my world
Just cant be right without you in my life

He must have heard every prayer I’ve been praying
He must’ve knew everything I would need
When God made you, He must’ve been thinking about me.

Ply | Single
Yardage | 461.8 m
WPI | Lace
Fibre | 75/25 BFL-Silk
Tool | Serenity Wheel [5.5:1 ratio]

My very first singles that are not overspun OR underspun thanks to adjustments to the tension and the threading (I can’t go at it as if it were spin-on-treadmills)!

I love how the colours came out – exactly as I envisioned it to be – but more importantly, I love love love the fact that it just took me two nights to spin this up! AHAHAHAHA! Now in terms of yardage, I would have liked to have something more substantial to work with but the 450 over meters will be good for a small-medium sized lace shawl. I guess I just need to find the right pattern now.

But yes, singles are amazing things to spin up! *grin*