I’m back on the job hunt market and started applying again. I did before Chinese New Year but it wasn’t very aggressive hunting unlike when we were looking for life insurance quotes in Switzerland. Now that February is almost over – I did promise Nil that I would start looking again after Chinese New Year – it’s time to dust off my resume and start…well, hunting.
While part of me is excited about the prospects of going back to work, a HUGE part of me is, well, feeling quite torn and forlorn about the whole thing.
It’s a hard decision to make; in fact, I am very reluctant to do it but we have to because we need the extra cash and well, Eva is old enough, I figured. Still, I can’t help but wonder sometimes if this is a good idea – to leave her in the care of someone who doesn’t know her very well or could subscribe to different caring methods that I do. Then there are things to plan and worry about like how to continue breastfeeding her while putting her on solids that I’ve cooked and so forth.
It is at times like this that I really wish I was into lotteries and Totos, actually buy them, and then actually win them so that I could spend all my time watching my children grow up before my eyes instead of digesting them through someone else. I guess for some of us, you could say that once you are a SAHM, it’s hard to go back to work again.