You could say that second to the year in which I got married, this year was a pivotal for me as I went from being just a woman and wife to being a mother as well.
Being pregnant again after a previous miscarriage wasn’t all that a happy occasion as we grappled with the possibility of history repeating itself. Many people assume that I would have been happy to be pregnant but what they didn’t know then was how worried I was about miscarrying again. I was taking no chances even though you probably wouldn’t have suspected looking at the trips I was making to the Alps. I went through a horrible bout of flu and food poisoning – all of which I had to go through without resorting to medication except for some Smecta. Oh the woes of being pregnant AND sick!
So when we went into the second trimester without a hitch and got our first confirmation that all was great, the next hurdle came along in the pregnancy. Because I was born with a congenital defect, the doctor was concerned that Eva may face the same problem as congenital defects are genetic. We went through a number of scans to be sure that everything was in place and you could say that I could only stop worrying towards the end of my second trimester.
It was during the end of the first trimester in which Nil and I experienced our first major major issue/conflict as a couple and pulled through it just well with the support, encouragement and help from both family and friends. Upon returning from our Christmas vacation, we discovered that Nil was being retrenched, and that his last month would be March. It couldn’t have come at a crappier time – just as we were thinking of setting up a nursery and so forth.
The following weeks after getting the news was hard as we adjusted both financially and morally to the news. Bringing a child into the world was a joyous occasion and one that many would look forward to but in my case, it was worrisome as we had to consider how to go about feeding not just ourselves but a baby. But we pulled through with some adjustments to our finances.
Then we had a break – sort of. Nil received some good news in the form of a job in Singapore and while he was elated to bits, I, to be honest, wasn’t looking forward to the move again. I knew that it would be tough adjusting to a new country and the Asian culture that I was happy to leave behind, but to do all that while coping with being a mum on top of running my shop, handling assignments like life insurance policy reviews and so forth? Lets just say that I had so many breakdowns then and now that sometimes I felt like giving everything up!
Really, being a mum is a test and while not everyone is cut out for it, I must say that it can bring out the best in people. I was pushed to so many limits, limits that I didn’t even know existed. What more, the word “sacrifice and selflessness” is never more real than when you’re a mother. The things I do, buy, and heck, even think, is often about her first – it has long stopped about what I want or need; although sometimes those things (“me” time/things) are important.
To be honest, I can’t really remember anything else apart from the fact that I got pregnant, Nil lost a job, Nil found a job, we moved to Singapore and that I’m a now mother. I guess when life keeps you busy with a baby, you don’t really have the time to sit back and take stock of the little little stuff. Sometimes they do matter but in this instance, I think the bigger picture is more important. The year 2009 was just that – the bigger picture.
Mum is the word. 
