A certain lull…

There is a certain lull that comes with realizing that you have been alive for the past three decades. When the day that marks the 3-0 arrives, you take stock of your life so far and wonder what the future has in store for you.

At 30, I seemingly may not have much to show for except a baby and a husband. I don’t have a job, I still look the same as I did (or perhaps worse if you take in the early morning feeds which has given me dark eye circles and my lingering jelly belly which I’ve been told will take at least a few more months to go away) and well, it can be depressing. Honestly, it was…

Here’s why…a lot of my peers are busy juggling their careers with family life while here I am living a life at home with my baby in tow. Most of the time, it’s a relatively quiet life with grocery shopping, cooking, housechores and such. If it were a day or two, it would be still alright but every day of the same routine? And it’s hard to be out and about with an infant…so when I took stock of my life, it felt as if I was falling short and lagging behind in the race.

Until I realized that the race is different for everyone – different goals, different lives and well, everyone is just plain different. At 30, my life has changed dramatically. I went from being a wife to a mother in that span of time. In fact, it was after my 29th birthday that I got pregnant. You could say that I waited quite a while for this birthday present to show up and mind you, it is one that I would not have exchanged for anything else, especially a long day at the office facing crappy people.

Yes, the big 3-0 has come and gone by without so much as a squeak but I’ve come to realize that sometimes it’s not what happens in a day that makes a life fulfilling but what occurs in the course of weeks, months and even years.

You could say that this is one of the more meaningful and rewarding birthdays ever – one spent with a husband and a baby daugther.

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10 Comments

  1. blessed birthday Mabel! Don’t know if it’s belated..

    Ah! Everyone’s check list is different. πŸ™‚
    I’d like to be in your position when I turn 3-0 in 2 years (talk about grass is greener on the other side!) but can’t see it happening, so i’ll take another list to check off, then. hehe!

  2. Happy Belated Birthday!

    The race IS different for everyone and you’re lucky to be able to stay home to see Eva grow up:) Many mothers can’t do that. Being a full-time SAHM is not for me but I don’t think SAHMs are worth any less than working mums.

    Mabel Reply:

    Thanks dear! Yes, I’m reminded of how lucky I am every time I notice a milestone or when she greets me with a smile and gurgle. πŸ™‚

  3. Hi Mabel,

    Being a full-time mom is the greatest (yet most under-rated) job in the whole wide world! To your baby, you’re her world and everything. At least you don’t have to face crazy clients, demanding bosses and ignorant colleagues. At least when everyone gets stuck in peak-hour traffic jam, you’re at the comforts of your home nurturing your baby. I think you’re doing a very good job juggling between your baby and side business. I’m contemplating to be a full-time mom too when my baby comes along, but unfortunately, that’s not an option for us. Hope this makes you feel better.

    Regards,
    Joey

    P/S: I’ve “met” you long time ago via malaysianbrides.com when we were all still planning our big day.

    Mabel Reply:

    Thanks, Joey. I’m kind of dreading the prospects of going back to work – I do wonder sometimes how I’ll cope with just missing her. I suspect I’ll turn into those mothers who leave right on the dot! πŸ˜›

    As for my side business, hai, it’s slowing down. I hope to pick it up again – we’ll see how it goes. πŸ™‚

  4. Welcome to Singapore. Happen to see your blog and wonder if you could share a tip on Switzerland and Austria (if you’ve been there). Where’s the best place to get cheap fish/pork/chicken/vegetables/fruits over there? We’re visiting the 2 countries and wife is thinking of cooking… not sure if the supermarts sell the freshest/cheapest fish or we can get better deals elsewhere..

    Sorry for the sudden question (I’m pretty sure you’re not expecting this) but thought you’re the best person to answer it since you cook a lot at home.

    Oh by the way, if you find rentals in Singapore high, go get a place along the MRT stations on the NorthEast Line. It’s likely to be cheaper. Try the Kovan/Hougang area. That one’s for paying it forward..

    Mabel Reply:

    Hi Tim,

    Fish in Switzerland? They are VERY expensive and usually frozen – it’s a landlocked country so the further inward you go (towards Germany and Austria), the less they know about cooking and eating fish. It’s actually cheaper to buy seafood (except for salmon) from the Asian supermarkets than from places like Coop or Migros (those are the two best places to go for deals on meat). For veg and fruits, you can go back to those two places or watch out for the local farmers market. Do watch out for weekly deals on meats (seafood included).

    As for Austria, I’m not too sure but you can try any of their local supermarkets – the quality isn’t all that bad or different from buying straight from the grocers. Am not too sure about the price because although I have been to some parts of Austria, hubby and I did the whole ham & sandwich, tabbouleh thing picnic-lunch. πŸ˜›

    Thanks for the tip on where to rent – unfortunately, hubby’s office is nearer to Changi so we got a place nearer to Tampines and such. It was still within our budget and pretty convenient/near shops and stuff.

  5. You have finally come of age……whatever it is, FTHM included, do everything well and in a professional manner.
    Not being able to contribute financially does not mean you are worth less ! Every home, like a business, needs a professional to take care of it. It is more pleasurable to take care of your own home, than to go out and take care of someone else’s business. If you really really can’t do without a paying job, then you won’t have a choice. But in the meantime, since it’s a ONE MAN show, forego ( not sacrifice ) what you don’t really need…. like cable TV, meals at resturant, car cineplex ect ect. You know what you and your family need – and DON’T need. Yopu know what you can afford – and what you can’t afford.
    In the meantime, enjoy your life as a mother ! and take care of yourself !

    Luv
    Daddy

  6. Hi,

    Thanks for the tip on fish. How can I find out more about the local farmer’s markets in Switzerland/Austria? Any websites? And when are they usually available (only on weekends)?

    Seriously thinking of cooking when I’m there…

    Mabel Reply:

    You can google for the local council sites, eg “Zurich tourism” and there should be some info under shopping/markets. There ought to be one during the week as well as another one on Saturdays. πŸ™‚

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