Creams and more creams.

Everyone’s got a drawer full of creams – face moisturisers and serums, the magic wrinkle cream, the cellulite cream and what-not. In my quest to gain back my prepregnancy figure, I have been gifted with oils to help with the weight loss and body moisturisers to help, well, with moisturising my skin. That coupled with the tubs and bottles of moisturisers I have…

OMIGOD.

You could say that I am swimming in moisturisers – I reckon if I squeezed all of them out, they would all fit neatly in a medium-sized bucket. I really should be more disciplined at applying them instead of being half-hearted or just lazy. Perhaps persistence might just make those stretch marks go away faster. Here’s the hoping and doing!!!!

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What it’s like so far.

Her many facial expressions...

Being a mum, that is.

Gone are those nights where I can truly sleep for 8 hours straight. In its place are night feeds and diaper changes every three to four hours. I can’t say for sure that I’m used to it neither can I say that I’m not used to it. It’s…well, another one of those challenges in life.

Gone are the days where I can do stuff without a care in the world – as in not worry about that little bundle snoozing away. A mother’s instinct, some people would call it, is at work now. For me, what’s important right now is what she needs. And yes, I worry even more now but it’s mostly for her benefit! Everyone else, and sometimes sad to say, even Nil takes backseat although I still do make time and effort to spare him some cuddles and smooches.

Gone are the days where I can simply ignore what people say about those I love. Sorry but no one disses my kid and gets away with it – even my parents. While she may not fully understand the implication of words spoken to her, I don’t want to encourage negative comments neither do I want to surround her with it.

I look at this little bundle of joy who is more precious than gems like this heart pendant jewelry and utterly heartwarming only to tell myself sometimes that the misery, the sleepless nights and the worrying is well worth it all.

Sometimes I get teary eyed, feeling all blessed to have such a gorgeous bundle and then a few hours later into the night, God gently reminds me that it’s not all pink and roses – that this gorgeous bundle comes with lots of responsibility and care, not just fun, fun, and more fun.

You know the old saying “God couldn’t be everywhere so He made mothers”. I think it’s more than just that. I think God made mothers (and fathers) to share with us the divine joy and heartache of being a parent. After all, He is the ultimate example of parenthood.

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Back on the scale again.

Weight has always been an issue for me…even now.

When I first saw myself in the mirror right after the labour, I nearly despaired. My body was totally not my body – loose skin around the belly (to be expected after carrying for nine months), stretch marks and well, just water retention and all. I wondered when I was going to ever look like I did before or at least nearly there.

Nearly 10 days after the birth and I’ve discovered that I’ve lost 6 kg already. I put on 12 kg during my entire pregnancy and little Eva was 2.76 kg at birth. The placenta, amniotic fluid and such would total up to about 3 kg. My belly is still there but it’s gone down significantly. It now measures 35 inches – I didn’t want to measure it before for fear of getting all depressed unnecessarily.

I hope to get back on track soon after the confinement. I can’t do much due to the fact that I went through a c-sec – no heavy lifting and all for six weeks – but the physiotherapist at the hospital did give me some exercises to help tone my abdominal muscles. So hopefully those will work. Drugs (check out the Nuphedra review here) are definitely out of the question and not just because I’m breastfeeding. I just want to do things naturally, really.

Do wish me luck, alright!!!

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Wonderfully imperfect…

I came across this ad via a friend’s link sharing on Facebook. This comes after the recent death of creative master, Yasmin Ahmad. It is an ad that with done with meaning – Ahmad wanted to banish away the idea of the perfect spouse, the perfect marriage and the perfect relationship with this ad. And I must say she did it well.

Modern young men and women expect far too much from others and pressure themselves too much when it comes to searching for a life partner and marriage. Sometimes, it is not perfection that draws people together but imperfections. I mean, look at Nil and myself. We are very imperfect people – perfection, as they say, is just for God. He, like Mr Lee in the ad, snores himself to sleep, is a really grumpy pot when woken up too early and can sit in front of the computer just entertaining himself with rugby all day long and yet, those imperfections are what makes him special. Me? Right now, with my flabby post-c-sec belly (natural skin care, I hope, will help), mood swings and all am just about the same.

Yet, I cannot imagine going through the rest of my life not watching the grumpy pot trudge around the kitchen making his morning coffee. I wish all marriages out there were as wonderfully imperfect as the one in the commercial was/is.

To Yasmin Ahmad, one of the most talented M’sians out there, for coming up with this wonderful perfect ad.

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Slowing things down…

…and picking things up somewhere else.

As I’m writing this, our little one is fast asleep in the other room or rather, I’m actually going to wake her up for her next feed after finishing this post. The days have been going well so far and she is a joy to care for amidst the fussiness and so forth. The nights are harder though, especially for Nil. For me, it’s slightly easier because I’ve had a head start at the hospital with reading her signals and such. For him, it’s a little difficult because he kind of gets grumpy with lack of sleep but I like to think that he’s doing just great…

Just as how he thinks I’m doing fine with the breastfeeding and caring of our little one.

Despite being on confinement, I still managed to get out but mostly for official stuff – getting paperwork and certificates done, and the all crazy passport picture for Eva. Seriously, whoever came up with the crazy idea of getting pictures for infant passports evidently never had children of their own!!! On top of having to deal with an unpredictable baby, the picture needed to show her with her face forward, mouth closed, eyes open and ears showing – a combination which is difficult to get! We were lucky in the fact that yesterday she decided to stay awake longer enough to allow the photographer to get a rather nice shot of her.

Of course, it was tough – she was fussing and I had to find ways to stop her from fussing AND open up her eyes plus not move around so much. At the end, I kept telling myself that the shop should just invest in white bed wedges which would have help propped her up, allowing a more fuss-free photo session. O’well, can’t win everything I guess.

Anyway, I guess I better run off to get some rest since I’m the one doing the night shifts most the time. OH, on a completely different note, did I say that we managed to find a new home for Emile and Scratch? Now to just organize the logistics and such…

Life is good. 🙂

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Just home…

After four days of staying in the hospital, excluding the pre-labour day, I decided that I had enough of doing nothing but sleep and watch Eva (not that I mind watching her) AND a very noisy neighbour who was going through some issues with breastfeeding and postpartum recovery. It’s not something you want to motivate you in your recovery and breastfeeding process.

So here I am again, in front of my laptop, blogging as often as I can – which won’t be thatttt often considering that I’ll be having long days of night feeding and such ahead of me, confinement food (definitely nothing like appetite suppressants there – quite yummy but still, I’m not taking too much), and going back to living life as close to how it was before the baby came.

Thank gawd for the little comforts of life…

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