Changes to come.

I’ve been spending the last few days churning out a lap blanket (which turned out to be large enough for two laps!!! LOL!), as well as slowly packing up my fibre & yarn stash. It’s a huge task considering that my belly is now 110 cm and my fibre & yarn stash is considerably large – including the shop store and all, well, lets just say that I probably have over USD500 (perhaps even more) worth of yarn and fibres. I’ve devised a little method of my own – pack up one to two boxes a day. I reckon that should make things more manageable and at least I won’t tire myself out unnecessarily.

As you probably have guessed over the few hints that I’ve dropped in the past few months or so, Nil and I will be moving back to Asia. He’s found a job in Singapore so once Eva is slightly over a month old, we’ll be flying there. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to the move with all the packing – we don’t have stuff like televisions and all but still, the thought of having to move/pack all our things, give up the apartment (we need to look for a new tenant because of how the rental system here works), and all is enough to make me sick with stress. As such, Nil has decided that he would do the worrying and all for the packing while I just concern myself with the pregnancy and Eva.

Still, I must be frank. Switzerland has spoiled me to a degree. The different culture and slow-pace here appeals to my nature. I am a family-oriented person who enjoys peace, and quiet – I hate crowds, I enjoy silence plus nature and well, I just don’t do well in the city despite coming from one major one like Kuala Lumpur. Back at home, I used to avoid crowded places like shopping malls and night markets. In fact, whenever I go to a shopping mall, it’s usually in the mornings when there aren’t many people (I avoid sales when crowds get crazily huge) and it’s always to the same few stores – books and all.

While going back to Singapore allows me and Eva to be closer to my family, I can’t help but feel the impending pressure of social expectations for me to ditch my baby with a babysitter and go back to work. While in Switzerland, no one expects a mother with babies to work full-time – it is generally acceptable to quit one’s job to be a stay-at-home mother here in Europe – people are supportive of stay-at-home wives and mothers. In Asia (and I mean Malaysia actually), people (my relatives to be exact) usually question such decisions and in some instances, they don’t encourage such things. A woman is expected to work full-time even though she has a young baby. Stay-at-home mums or wives are presumed to be uneducated and uncultured, at their husband’s beck and call (in other words, dependent on their partners), have no social lives and are unproductive individuals.

Despite the fact that I actually lead a pretty busy schedule with all the sewing, knitting and everything, people still ask me what I do all day long – some assumed that I’m very free while others think that I’m sponging off Nil. Maybe it would surprise them to know that I pay for my own hobbies and such. Still…imagine being away from a culture that is supportive of your choices to one that isn’t. It’s daunting.

Still in spite of all these changes to come, I’m beginning to accept that moving is best considering other factors. We’ll tackle those naggy people as a couple and family when the time comes. And before anyone would like to offer suggestions on what I can do in Singapore, don’t worry – I already have a plan. In fact, I have a few and they all involve me spending time with Eva AND making some money. πŸ™‚

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7 Comments

  1. All the best with the move. I think you may find that in Singapore, being a SAHM is quite socially acceptable. I know a number of women who don’t work and a number of my colleagues who have wives who don’t work. It will be nice to be close to family, even if it is only for a few years.

    Mabel Reply:

    Thanks Celia…I think the concept is becoming very popular in Singapore but the pressure for me comes mostly from Malaysia especially from relatives. Aiiii…

    And yeah, it’d be nice to be close to family, especially during the festive season (that’s when I get really down in the dumps). Plus all that yummy food… πŸ˜›

  2. Enjoy the new move/ adventure! Don’t allow the pressure/ stress overwhelm you πŸ™‚
    And i still think you should continue your gorgeous hobbies!

    Mabel Reply:

    I want to…hopefully I’ll get to continue the shop while taking care of Eva – and maybe even squeeze in a part-time job. I like to keep busy. πŸ˜›

  3. It makes me sad (and indignant) that people think it is OK to offer their opinions about your relationship with Nil. It is no one’s business but you and Nil. Running a household and taking care of a baby – and doing it WELL – is a full time job. Please stick to your ideas. You don’t have to answer to anyone.

    Mabel Reply:

    Thanks for the support! Right now, I’m trying not to think too much about it and will endeavour to only worry about it when it comes. Hopefully by then, I’d have developed some super thick skin and clogged ears! LOL!

  4. I hate it when relatives feel the need to butt their nose into our own personal affairs. Sometimes, I wish they would go live their own lives instead of minding other people’s business.

    Just continue doing what you like best and you’ll be fine. Good luck with the move and I can’t wait to see little Eva’s pictures when she enters this world. πŸ™‚ At least with you in Singapore soon, I’ll be able to visit πŸ˜€

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