It isn’t easy…or at least that’s how I see it from observation.
I haven’t been married for long (three weeks after the end of a married LDR) but I can slowly see how keeping the flame alive can be difficult. Even more so if you have children in the picture. Those candlelight dinners, the sexy outfit(s), even the whole “going at it like bunnies” can become mundane and routine, lacking sometimes in spontaneity and mostly, well, effort.
The move to Switzerland and the whole living together in an ultra small space (think 25 square meters to be exact) has put somewhat of a damper on the romance bit. I used to complain about having to think of tonnes of ideas to keep the flame alive during our dating days…now that we’re married, I noticed that each one of us or both run into this habit of taking each other for granted.
Maybe I could be wrong and couples do stay in love and in perpetual bliss forever…
But it never helps to build some passion & romance into a relationship…even a new one such as mine. These days, my parents are filled with advice and well, romantic ideas…things like…
- Have a candlelight dinner or a picnic somewhere quiet.
- Go for walks together.
- Walk your partner to work every day (this only works if you work nearby!).
- Wear something sexy!
- Don’t forget to kiss your partner every morning and night (before work and bed)
- Go on a date once a week.
- Write an “I love you letter” (well, if you don’t know, there are plenty of ideas on the Net, like on that link!)
- Have your meals together (it’s hard to stay angry with someone you eat with)!
- Leave romantic messages on mirrors, in lunchboxes or even Post-Its!
- Surprise her with a gift (flowers, books or even something handmade).
- Cuddle and kiss (you don’t have to have sex to keep the intimacy alive)…
And naturally, my parents always end with these words…
When you’re married, it’s all the more reason for you to keep the flame alive. This is one of the reasons why marriage is hard – it’s all about effort!
Hm…speaking of which, it’s cuddle time at my place!