Just a couple of thoughts after going through that whole “problogger wants sponsors for his wedding” escapade. Yes, I’m always late on the news…and no, I’m not dropping his link. I think he has enough traffic to boost his ego already.

According to traditional Malaysian Chinese wedding customs…

• Anyone helping out with the wedding – be it paid or otherwise – needs to be given an angpau.
• Angpaus given by guests and family members (during the tea ceremony & dinner banquet) are given on the sole understanding that it is to help lighten the financial load of the couple and their family.
• The bridal price, or pingkam, is a monetary amount (not to be confused with the dowry) given to the bride to help her and her family out with pre-wedding preparations.

So keeping these three things in mind, that would mean that if the couple had even gone through with the idea (congrats and thankgawd you scrapped your STUPID, TASTELESS idea!), it’s tantamount to turning their wedding into a money-making event and that those angpaus would have to go to your sponsors (sorry, it’s not as easy as you think) and your poor bride’s family would be frowning all the way to the bank because you’re not forking out any $$$ to so-called lightened their load but instead am using “sponsored” goods.

To be honest, as someone who is in the middle of planning her own wedding, I find it absolutely tasteless for anyone to go around demanding for this and that in exchange for advertising on their blog AND to do it via EMAIL and in PRINT. Verbally, we all try to barter our way into more freebies from the bridal studio, more prints from the photographer and even a better rate for everything else…discounts if you will but a lot of us out there still end up paying for a sizeable portion, if not everything for our big day. BUT we don’t go around tooting our horns in exchange for stuff!

Can you imagine walking up to a bridal studio/photographer/printer/etc and saying “Hey, I want you to give me this and that in exchange for more publicity on my blog!”? Gosh.

A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime thing and it is to be a solemn & sacred affair. Set a budget (stick to it please), realistic goals (forget about that ridiculously expensive Vera Wang gown if you don’t have the $$$ for it) and think ahead. How do you want to remember your wedding day and more importantly, your wedding journal?

Thanks to this crass idea of his, he and his future wife have received a lot of flank for their audacious idea. So much for building wonderful memories leading up to your big day, aye? Granted, it is brilliant but there are just some things which you don’t muck around with and a wedding – your wedding – is one of them.

In case he ever reads this, well, I only have a few words for him.

Just be honest and spare me (and yourself) the bullshit about cultural differences and etc. Don’t even think of justifying it. You have a cushy job, your wife has a cushy job, you both are adults and I’m sure you can use a calculator and some grey matter to come up with creative YET cheap ideas that are functional for your wedding. Don’t turn your big day into the laughingstock of the town. It’s a bad start to what could be a great marriage.