Is it really exciting?

Since I booked my flight to Zurich last week, heaps of people have remarked on how excited I must be to be able move to a place like Switzerland. The whole “it’s a such a gorgeous place!”, “it must be great to move away from Malaysia”, and all that. Honestly, it’s tiring having to try and answer questions or statements revolving around my move…

Deep down inside, I haven’t exactly thought about all those things with the wedding dinner happening a day before the flight. Then there is the pre-move stuff – the packing, the househunting, the unfinished businesses (income tax is one of those biggies! =.= ), the goodbyes…and then there is the settling down bit and starting afresh…

I know we all have to go through things like this in one way or another but it still doesn’t stop me from wanting to NOT think about it constantly.

Being jobless and away from friends with no direction whatsoever doesn’t sit very well with me. It’s bad enough that I can’t stand being jobless. I also cannot stand being without any idea whatsoever of my focus/plans there. It was different in Australia because I was there for a reason and therefore, I had something on my hands. This time, things are different.

The goodbyes…well, it is always hard to say goodbye to friends and family. While the Internet may be a great way to keep in touch, it’s just very different from actually being there surrounded by people you know. Part of me looks forward to getting to know more people but the other part of me doesn’t want to leave the ones here behind. It doesn’t help when your parents keep going on and on about how you’ll be surrounded by strangers who will judge you based on their expectations of an Asian woman.

Come to think of it, I don’t know what to feel. I don’t exactly hate the idea of moving but I’m not exactly jumping up and down for joy either. Perhaps it is easy for others out there – pack up, move, settle down and that’s it – but for me, the process is emotionally draining…

Add that with the wedding preparations and you can see how it can get deadly for me.

So no, it’s not really that exciting. Don’t mind me if I just smile whenever someone asks and comments in that fashion. I’m not trying to be funny or rude. I just don’t find it all that exciting…

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1 Comment

  1. hmm. I would hope in this day and age that you will not be judged based on your ethnicity, particularly in Switzerland.

    It is always challenging to start fresh in a new place, even if it is a different city in your own country. The unknown quantity and not knowing what to expect I suppose. You’ll find your feet though, after you get there and start to develop a routine.

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