“An engagement is an agreement or promise to marry, and also refers to the time between proposal and marriage.” – Engagement, Wikipedia

As it turns out, I have been engaged for a while now…and I didn’t even know it.

Now why is that?

For starters, I don’t really have a ring and well, I didn’t get a proposal that was worded to the T (you know, the whole “Will you marry me?” on one bended knee thing). All I got was a very boring and very practical “We’ll get married once I get a job. I promise.” (Come to think of it, I don’t think I would have it any other way.)

Last night, oddly enough after watching the ending of Princess Hours, I wondered about the significance of weddings, the importance of love and rings in today’s world and in my own relationship.

I brought this up with Nil; it was also because Le Lapin had mentioned months earlier that it seemed as if I was almost engaged. When we stripped the whole thing bare of the very commercialized symbols, we realized that in actuality, our verbal promises to each other formed the foundation of an engagement. Of course the conversation was pretty funny, even though it took place around 4am MYT. (Yes, I still have jetlag but Mum thinks I’ll be fine in a day or two.)

“So are we engaged?”
“Mabel, they are just words to me. They mean nothing. In France, people don’t really get engaged. They just…get married. I will marry you…unless you want to break up with me.”
“NOOOOO! I didn’t say that.”
“Dunno. Just thinking.”
“You like to think about weird things la.”
(long pause)
“So are we engaged?”
“YESSS, Mabel.”

So there you have it. I’m an engaged woman without a ring. The whole proposal on one knee thing can go to hell because y’know, at the end of the day, being romantic isn’t about all those things. Being romantic is about being there when you need someone the most; trying to cheer someone up even though you don’t know how to (being goofy and all that); and so much more than just song, flowers and chocolates. Things that matter, things that last – those are the things that makes someone a romantic. Nil is romantic enough for me. Besides, I didn’t fall in love with him because of that. Inside that shy and tough exterior of his, lies a warm, affectionate, strong beating heart, a wonderful mind and an equally amazing personality.

Anyway, my parents don’t really know about this yet. Am wondering how to break the news to them. Besides, somehow it hasn’t sunk in yet. All I know is I love it when Nil laughs; it makes me feel warm and at peace even though I feel like killing myself now for having this awful cough.


To Be Loved by Ronan Keating

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  1. awww how sweet:). Congratulations?

    If you think about it, most couples in malaysia don’t really get engaged either in the traditional sense of down on one knee with a huge rock…its more like, right,we’re buyin a house together,so we kinda am getting married.Or something along that lines.

    My suggestion re the parents:You know how every chinese new year all the super kepoh relatives (well, mine anyway,and most people I know) will teasingly and ignorantly probe: Aiyaa,big girl already,when you want to get married?

    Just tell them smugly;”By the end of the year.Prepare your angpows”. In front of your parents.

    [Thanks! 🙂

    Well, I told my mum last night and she took it pretty well although she did say/ask “No ring oso wan?” Pfft.]

  2. I believe congrats are in order! Very happy for you cousy. :hyper:

    [Thankiesss!….sooooo…when’s your turn? 😉 ]

  3. either way also die..mine came with the proper ring in a turquoise box and yet my mom did not believe me…until he told her himself.

    parents.can’t live with em, can’t live without em.

    [Definitely! ^.^]

  4. Hmm, my sister got married without informing the family. We only found out when my bro-in-law (who is English) called and informed my mother about the marriage. It was mutually accepted and there were no big hoohahs – engagement parties, lavish wedding dinners. A year later, my sis came home with her English hubby and we had a small family dinner to celebrate the occasion. Everyone at the dinner had a good time- chatting, exchanging stories, taking photos and my bro-in-law got to know everyone. Yes, totally agreed – no need to follow the norm to get engaged/married, whatever. Just follow your heart as long as you’re happy. 🙂

    [I think my parents will kill me if I did that. LOL. Then again, mum was like “It’s fine if you have a civil wedding then when you’re free, come back and have the tea ceremony la.” Heh.]

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