It’s more personal now.

I have been doing some thinking and mulling of lately. I toyed briefly with the idea of passwording this entire site (actually, I still haven’t given up on that thought yet). Why, one person asked. It is simply because this site has grown into what seems like a electronic personal diary.

You see, my blog has never has a noble purpose like Jeff Ooi’s, neither has it ever been anything public and wacky (in a fun, nice way) like Minishorts’. It had always been more of a diary, filled with ramblings – right or wrong, crazy or serious, mundane or important. Except that unlike most diaries, it has an audience.

I think this has changed. My readers, if there are still any left, are silent, which is an awful thing if your purpose is to engage people and illicite thoughts from them. When I bemoaned the quiet state of my blog to him, Nil said that my blog seemed more like a storage centre for my thoughts and that itself is something personal, hence people may not seem to know what to say.

“Besides, I don’t think you write to get comments or get more people to read. Your blog is just about you to dump all that excess stuff somewhere else. Otherwise, you’ll explode and I’ll get it.”

True.

Of lately, I’m beginning to tire from keeping two separate blogs. Yes, it may shock some to know that I have two blogs – this very public one and another more quiet, less open one with its comments page permenantly closed. It all started when my ex casually discovered this blog way before I even considered using WP technology. I tolerate his presence until he exploded about something I wrote. It was then that I discovered that this blog was TOO public.

Now I discovered that…

…I shouldn’t have given a damn and just password protect all entries that I didn’t want people to read about.

…I shouldn’t give a damn about what people think about the number of password protected entries I have.

…I shouldn’t give a damn about what people think of the number of times I rant and rave about things I HATE, especially a few people.

I just shouldn’t care…because at the end of the day, this blog is supposed to be something personal and close to my heart.

So really…if you come across a post whereby the comments page is closed or it’s password protected, it just means that it’s not meant for anyone else but me to read.

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