A box of love.

I used to write heaps of letters, the old-fashioned paper and pen kind of letter. Very unlike today’s form of communication. Letters back then were personal and well, intimate to a certain degree. Friendships, relationships and familial ties were founded on the very words inked out on these sheets of paper. My dad’s ‘infamous’ six-paged love letter to me while I was in Australia; stamps accompanied by typed words on A4 sheets of paper from my Swedish pen pal (whom I still keep in touch with after nearly ten years of staying in contact); postcards with chicken-scratches disguised as handwriting from friends…

I stopped writing two years ago. The words somehow stopped flowing and well, there wasn’t anyone around to write to on a personal and intimate basis. It became hard for me to write what I thought and felt. I guess you could say that I grew cynical over time.

BUT I picked up the pen again. A few days ago. Last Thursday to be exact.

That night, I opened up to Nil whole-heartedly. My issues with the ex has clouded my relationship with Nil and occupied the top position in my heart (even though all I feel towards my ex was nothing but hatred and pity) for far too long. It hit me then that if I continue to let things be the way they were, the love between us both would just start to flicker away. I mean, how long can a flame burn on a short wick? And so, I decided that enough was enough.

I gave Nil the most precious thing I had to offer to any man. I gave him my heart and in doing so, I gave him a box of love. A box filled with letters. Letters filled with intimacy and thoughts.

Love letters.

Suddenly a blog doesn’t seem like the right place to write love letters to a partner. I toyed with the idea once, the idea of setting up a blog filled with love letters to a partner but somehow it just didn’t feel right. So the blog-project fell to pieces. It’s still lying around somewhere on the Internet. You see, there is something magical and strangely profound about holding a love letter in your hand and seeing the delicate penmanship; about pouring out your feelings onto paper.

Perhaps I found that magic again.

A box, several love letters and a few knick-knacks. Love wrapped up in a box. The best going-away gift for a heart has loved me well.

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5 Comments

  1. yeah. i guess there’s some things u can’t replace with technology.
    true. i don’t write letters like i used too anymore. i prefer the modern way of communicating: SMS, MMS & Email.

  2. Suddenly a blog doesnโ€™t seem like the right place to write love letters to a partner.

    yes I too wondered what happened to that blog… but I guess you’re right…there are something which shouldn’t be blogged…

    cheer up, I’m sure Nil is an understable person and I’m sure he’ll truly appreciate and treasure what you have offered him ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I’ve always felt that the right way to open up your heart with love is through the old fashion way – love letters – instead of the modern way. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. awww…i think thats a brilliant idea. ๐Ÿ™‚

    snail mail is far better than even email and although i dont write often to ted (because we have email), i do make it a point to do so once in a while. and well, even though i wish he would write me more snail mail, the one or 2 that he has done, is more precious than anything else. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    this penchant i have for snail mail is most likely why i still keep in contact with my friend from barbados too. i’ve also gotten myself a few penpals as well – keeps my need for snail mail always on the go. but i have to admit that it is one of the toughest kind of friendship to maintain. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Chengsim: I know of someone who saved all the SMS messages she got from her then-boyfriend, now-hubby and typed them all into an Excel file. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Centerpide: Nah. I’m not worried that he won’t appreciate them or anything like that. Just reminiscing on how long it has been. I think the blog is still there though but I lost the addy and login details. :p

    Piggy: At the end of the day, nothing beats handwrittten stuff leh.

    Yvy: I’ve read of couples who write lovenotes (short post-it notes) to their hubby/wife and dump it in either 1) handbag/suitcase, or 2) organizer. That is an even cooler idea.

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