PDAs – Public or Private?

Ever came across one of those ‘silly’ testimonials on Friendster where the writer is gushing love poems and strings of “I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT HER/HIM!!!!!” every six to seven testimony entries? Ever came across pictures of couples in the most lovey-dovey of poses with captions reading things like “Queen of my heart, she is…”? Better still, did you ever found yourself itching to slap those couples who seem like they are stuck to each other like glue?


I have got a few stories of my own – during my singleton days and even now when I’m part of a couple myself. Most of the time it’s amusing but there are those few occassions when it’s down right irritating on the eyes. Now it’s not because I’m jealous or want a piece of the action myself… Believe you me when I say that I get enough of attention from Nil but the thing is this: do you really need to show the entire world that you’re part of a relationship?

The best part about this (or should I say that it’s the worst?) is that this, I noticed, is pretty common about relatively new and young couples. From new, I mean people who have just started dating and by young, I mean the age factor of the two in the relationship.

So tell me those stories, you ask? Ohkay…

Story 1
Bio: Couple in their mid-twenties.
Crime: Man puts his hand on the back pocket of woman’s jeans and visibly gropes her butt – non-stop.
Detail: Was walking along Sydney streets with my ex-boyfriend when the crowds part and here was this couple. The guy visibly getting a good feel of his girl’s butt. It didn’t help that it continued for like the following fifteen to twenty minutes. And mind you, the couple were Asians and speaking in Mandarin. ~_~

Saw a few couples like that in Malaysia as well. I mean, WHAT GIVES? The public doesn’t really need to know if your girl/guy has a firm butt – we can see that and judge for ourselves. If it’s not so firm, never mind. Different people have different tastes. Also we know that you can touch and just about do anything you like to this walking piece of nubile young flesh AND we know that you do more than just grope in private. We just like you to keep it to yourself, y’know?

Story 2
Bio: Couple in their teens (do their parents know that they are out getting hickeys and stuff?)
Crime: You may have guessed it – tonsil hockey…for hours.
Detail: Seen too many couples abroad and at home doing the tonsil hockey in public. Most of the time, I see them in shopping malls – one would think that shopping malls would be safe for families and children. Apparently not.

If by doing the tonsil hockey, you hope to bring the message across that you’re a good kisser, forget about it. It just means that you’re insecure enough to flash your private doings in public. It’s like peeing in the middle of the street in hopes that someone will come up and compliment me on what a big dick you have. Trust me, someone might just say that you’re a big dick.

The other thing is this…if you think that you have this huge need to publicize that you’re jiving with this hunk/chick (or maybe nerd/ah lian), save it. The world doesn’t really care who ONE person dates and sees. There are nearly six billion of us on this planet and we have other things to worry about that one person’s marital status.

Story 3
Bio: Couple in their late teens
Crime: Superglue companies should use them as mascots. Seriously.
Detail: Occassionally while you’re just about to dig into your nice spread of lunch/dinner, there they are – sitting in front of you and giggling non-stop. Half of the time, they are tightly entwinned in each other’s arms (side sticking to each other, wrapped up all over and in each other NOT holding hands) and most of the time, they are touching each other all over. But one thing is consistent, they are next to each other shoulder to shoulder (sometimes even closer).

I just don’t understand. What is so difficult about spending a few seconds/minutes apart physically from your partner? Will you wilt like a cut flower in the bright sunlight? Will you die of a heart attack? Will you start to pine for your loved one as if he is a million miles away from you? If being together means being together PHYSICALLY as well as emotionally, then I think you need to reexamine your perception of a relationship.

You don’t need to be glued to your partner to feel connected – unless of couse, you mean you desire some electricity or what we call, a cheap thrill. But even then, do you know what we think when we see couples like that? Suffocating.


I could go on but really, I would like to know if I’m the only one who thinks that there is something wrong with these couples. If you’ve got stories…tell me ’bout them – but do keep the names anonymous! ;))

So yeah, PDAs…should they be private or public? What exactly is too much and how/where do you draw the line?

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  1. I’m so bloody tempted to do a spin-off of my own on this topic…lol 😀

    but anyways here’s my take on it…it’s alright if you both are decent…I mean do you consider holding hands the whole time a “super-glue” activity? For me no, I think that’s lovely and sweet.

    But yeah when it comes to necking “giving hickeys” and cuddling in front of other people…I have my integrity and I expect my partner to be the same…there is a time and place for everything I belive…

    Interestingly I’ve heard some people do this because they have no where else to do all these things…teens and late teens find it impossible to be “together” in their homes because of their family members etc… so I guess we too need to understand their situation.

  2. But maybe these people are so in love that they get lost in each other’s company and be damned the world around them, they don’t care. Do they care you feel this way? Probably not. Love is blind, at least to oogling passerbys and infuriated bloggers.

  3. Centerpide: Do la! 😉 Well, I don’t see anything wrong with giving your partner an ocassional smooch or hug in front of your parents. My parents are affectionate with each other and thus see nothing wrong with a quick peck on the cheek or smooch or hug in front of them. But don’t la overdo it.

    The other thing is this: do their parents even know that their children are dating? And if they don’t, why is that?

    Dzof: Point…but should they start caring? :-S

  4. I know what you mean. The hormone overdrive in the younger/newer couples can be an eyesore.

    In moderation would not be so bad..

    What I do love to see is more matured (age and/or nature) relationships that tastefully display their affections in public. Married couples with three-four children in tow, then you catch a glimpse of a squeeze here, a peck there. Or senior citizens being playful. Those kinds are nice.

    Even for young ones, PDAs can still be tasteful. Private affections done in public, NOT for show/display, but simply affection. Though I suppose PDA would be a misnomer…

    And yes, sometimes, those few seconds apart can be unbearable. heh

  5. Karina: Not makes you fuzzier than watching old couples display some good old-fashioned CLEAR PDA…so nice to see old people still keeping the flame going. 🙂

    SkinnyDood: At the rate those youngins are going with their PDAs, it could very well be personal assistantship going on. :p

  6. i know this couple who sit on each other’s laps and lap each other up literally at the local mamak stall.

    because of them, the other sets in the group usually sit an arm’s length apart for fear of being associated as the PDA wannabes.

  7. I am not attached to anyone right now but what I think is they are just being too much – sometimes.

    Yes, it is not wrong for them to show their affection towards each other in public but please… Not all the time. Sometimes, it’s just sickening to see them sticking together… Or do the tonsil hockey right in front of everyone.

    Love is something pure and one doesn’t have to show it out in the public all the time.. The affection will always be there if the couple love each other dearly. Showing will not mean anything sometime.

    Just my 2 cents.

  8. Kyels: Sometimes showing off too much can also mean that there is something wrong/missing in the relationship so much so that people subconsciously feel the need to cover up.

    Scribbler: *checks out link* Short and straight to the point. 😀

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