Just before the trip…

I’m all set for my trip to Hanoi with the boyfriend with a stop-over in Singapore. Everything has been packed in whilst ensuring that I don’t go overboard. You know that age old saying about how women pack their entire homes into a suitcase? It’s true…for some at least.

Nil understands – just as how he tolerates my PMS mood swings (which I get plagued with prior to a period), just as how he is open-minded enough to accept that I come from a very different culture and well, different family. He has his own faults which I lovingly accept to a certain degree. It is not a picture perfect relationship and it should never be in the first place. It is hardly easy to maintain either but at least we are both trying. The one thing I know we have going for us is that we love each other.

I can’t say that I am not looking forward to the trip – we’ll be celebrating our first year anniversary a month ahead of schedule (we met on a very interesting date and share our real anniversary with gazillions of Americans!). We have had a very interesting year laced with affection, quarrels, and the other things that makes a relationship a mystery in itself.

I remember how someone once remarked that it is amazing how two very different people could get together and continue to live together until death comes calling, with such a strong emotional bond between them.

Till today, it never ceases to amaze me how relationships can just happen out of the blue (unless of course you have been observing them with a keen eye!).

Je t’aime, mon cheri!

…………………

On the side, a brush with another individual from my past led me to wonder about people and grudges.

Why do people continue on holding grudges against others for things that occured three, five, hell, even ten years ago? Does it give them hope? Does it make them feel bigger than life? Does it give them comfort?

I’ll admit that like any other individual, I have had my fair share of grudges. Read the old entries and you’ll see heaps of rants about the ex, schoolmates and etc. These days, I let them all go even though sometimes, on rare ocassions, the memories hurt like an ant bite. Of course, I slip back into the whole “bitch about the other person while ignoring the wrongs that I’ve done” – who doesn’t?

Perhaps it is easier for me to let go because I see holding onto grudges as a sign of weakness. Or maybe it’s because I find no joy or comfort in bearing a grudge against another individual. I reckon that as you grow older, life gets too short to start begrudging people and letting all those memories make you steam with anger. Negativity begets negativity – from within yourself and from others.

Or perhaps it is just me.

Whoever you are, wherever you may be, I wish you all the best in your endeavours and I hope you’ll be able to find the acceptance, joy, comfort and love that you so long for.

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