Get a divorce?

I mean of course you would if we were talking about your friends or your colleague or even a relative. It is, after all, their life and if you’re anything like me, you let them live it the way they want to.

BUT what if one of your parent was thinking of getting a divorce? Would you let them?

No, no…my parents aren’t thinking of getting a divorce - they have a lovely relationship and besides, they don’t believe in divorce (marriage is for life is their motto). This is about a few people I know.

Now this is the scenario…

A parent (lets name the person…E) had been thinking about filing for divorce and his/her kiddies are trying to talk him/her out of it. The marriage, E thinks, can’t be salvaged. E’s partner just doesn’t understand his/her ambition, dreams and is just so difficult to live with these days. He/She has changed into something that E cannot comprehend, understand or even accept. E doesn’t, if rarely, gets any compliments, affection or even comfort from his/her own partner. In short, the marriage, E feels, is like a marriage of convenience - there is no more love in it. Now E’s children are in their late and early twenties and thus, it is only now that E has decided to bring up the issue.

So, if you were E’s child, would asking E to bear on with it still make sense? Or would you brave the unknown with E and agree to him/her getting a divorce?

I would actually ask E to get a divorce, especially after trying for many years to work things out between him/her and the partner.

A marriage should be a positive, happy one (speaking on an overall, that is) - it should make both partners satisfied and happy. Most of all, it should be filled with ever-continuing and ever-growing love. Without love, everything else seems to fall apart - in my opinion anyway. We can and will almost fail to make our partners happy if we stop loving them. And once that happens and continue to over ten or even twenty years, people drift apart, so far apart that they lose sight of what made them came together in the first place. When that happens, nothing you do or say can change things.

The moment one parent starts talking or even starts thinking about divorce, you know you have lost the battle. You know that they are close to their limit. It is just a matter of time. For most people anyway.

As the child I look at my parents and I want happiness for both of them. If it meant them getting it while being apart, why not? I’m no longer young and I should be able to understand that 1) marriage should be a blessing and not a curse, 2) if there is no love in it, why force yourself to stay on because you’re afraid of being alone, or afraid of hurting someone, and 3) people should never stay in relationships for convenience. It makes people and others around them miserable. Perhaps I’m different in thinking this way.

As the adult (with the prospect of getting married and etc looming ahead in the near future), I would never want to stay in a relationship whereby I’m never appreciated, not sure if I’m even loved or not and hell, I would never ever stay because I’m afraid of the future. I know I deserve more and if my partner has stopped giving it to me (even after trying), why should I stay on? Of course there is more to take into consideration but here I am, telling myself that after twenty years of staying with the same man who has changed so much that I can’t even see why we got together in the first place…don’t you think I am better off alone now that my kids can fend for themselves?

Now…what about you?

NOTE: Potential female anatomy and sexual health details up ahead!

Most of us are probably familiar with the use of yeast (or at least what yeast is) - in beers, and breads - but how many of us know that we have yeast cells in our bodies? Ohyes, we have them in our mouths and for the women, in our vaginas too; they live side by side with some very good bacteria and well, some not so good ones. Yeast is part of the whole system of living organisms in our bodies and when one small bit of the ’system’ is disrupted, some bacteria explode in terms of population, leading to infections.

Commonly known as ‘vaginal yeast infection‘ or just ‘yeast infection’, Candidiasis is just that - an organism population explosion. It usually occurs because of stress, changes in the hormones, frequent douching, too much sugar (diabetic women get this alot) and even changes in the Ph level of the vagina itself.

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It has been a crazy nearly one week for me - with its ups and downs - downs being the fact that I am jobless and suffering from a slight ear infection (BLECK!)…ups being Harry Potter coming out and me going for second round interviews.

I spent the entire week keeping as busy as I can and now, it looks like I can enjoy whatever free time I have left.

Yes, you read it right.

I’ll have to enjoy whatever free time I have left because people, I’ll be starting work on 16th of August in Cyberjaya as a sub-editor.

^______________^

Never mind that it is in another land by itself - pretty far but I plan to go by public transport. Never mind that I’ll probably have to bring my own lunch and change my gym membership to “Passport” instead of “Home. Never mind that I’ll be starting work immediately after my Vietnam trip.

It’s alright. New opportunities demand new changes. I’ll adapt. I’ll adjust.

It’s okay. Thanks to all for their support.

I’M SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

^______________^

Anyone who knows me very well will have this to say about me: “She is a worrypot first and next, a pressure cooker.”

True to form, I’m starting to feel the downs of being jobless. So far, I have gone for two interviews (got to the second round for one of them - which I’m planning to turn down for reasons that I’ll explain later) and that is it. Dozens of applications have been sent out and so far, the trail has gone cold. And I’m beginning to worry heaps.

To make matters worse, it is taking a toll on my relationship with Nil. My parents don’t really have a problem with it - because there was once Dad was jobless for a couple of long months and things were a bit tight but it didn’t escalate into fights. He took up tourism studies to kill time and later found a job. But that’s Dad. He had his pension to tide things over and I reckoned he has more control over his emotions and mind than I do.

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Well, things have been slightly different now that I’m no longer working. People assume that I’m having a jolly good time taking a break but I somehow feel different about the whole thing. I wake up around the same time as well, and I still do housechores and stuff - like run errands, for my parents and boyfriend - not to mention go around hunting for jobs. In a way, it is work; in a way, it isn’t.

I now have more time to spend doing things like baking, gym-ing, travelling meeting friends and blogging - but somehow I just haven’t done all of those things except for the “meeting friends” and “travelling” bit. I spent most of my afternoon yesterday out. First to run errands and drop off some of my former colleague’s stuff and then lunch with my former students. I bumped into a couple of them at the local mall and well, we just hung around, talked, window shopped and that was it.

Note: I’m the type who just can’t stay at home and rot. Besides, my parents just gave me several assignments - design a website and business card for them over the next two weeks. I reckon I’ll have to start on it tomorrow - have a few ideas in mine, so we’ll see how it goes.

Anyway, by the time I got back, it was time to shower, read some newspaper, chat with my parents, cook my dinner and then off to French class. Somehow in between all that, I got a call to attend an interview with a local education institute today around noon - which brings me to consider about a few things. What my options are should I get offers from both the industry and the education sector - bearing in mind that I might have to work overseas in the near future? I know it is too soon to tell but in my case, I reckon it never hurt to consider things like that.

Well, I best get started on breakfast now, if I want to get ready for my interview later. After that, it’s a visit to the gym and sauna there. ^_^

And because I was tagged by thesam117:

5 songs that I currently love (in no particular order):

• We’ve Got Tonight by Kenny Rogers and Shena Easton
• Cut Both Ways by Gloria Estefan
• What Matters Most by Rankin Kenny
• Belaian Jiwa by Innuendo
• Imagine by Beatles

By the way, did I mention that Dad is thinking of installing a CD player in my car??? WHOPPPIEEE!!!!

The weekend has been quite good; have not felt this sudden surge in excitement over the prospects of a second interview (and of finding a job). Neither did I feel this rush in me about the simplest things in life - things that amuse me even though I have other things to worry about.

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