…when I wish I was right beside you at this very moment in time.
…when I wish we were but a few kilometres away from each other.
…when I wish to breathe in the familiar smell of you.
…when I want to do nothing else but spending the days lazing in your arms.
…when all I can think of is you.
It is at times like this that I wish I didn’t have to spent two-thirds of my life working to sustain myself and my future. That I didn’t have to be so tired out from work every day so much so that sometimes I look forward to the mere thought of a holiday.
I think I just wished for all those things today.
I was so looking forward to talking to you but my body is starting to feel the strain from overworking and the simple thought of what tomorrow entails is enough to make me want to burst out into tears – two classes, two meetings, an exam invigilation…non-stop work from 8am till 4pm. Not even a break in between for lunch.
Sometimes I wish I don’t have to work at all.
I had a good time this weekend, even though it threatened to start off quite rockily with you-know-who on Friday night…but just being with you was enough to chase those thoughts away. I don’t think I have ever felt this way in a long time – carefree, full of laughter, and just being able to be myself and more importantly, my kiddy self. I hate to say it but I wish I was a child again…
To be able to laugh so freely; to be myself without cares; to enjoy the company of great friends and wonderful loved ones; to not worry about putting up pretenses…
Just to be myself…o’ what joy that brings…
You know, as we were busy talking about our impending holidays on our see-saw, I felt more than happy…I felt wonderful. Doing all those things with you, sharing my thoughts, sharing this happiness that had seem to come again these past few days. Too long has it been since I last laughed without having to worry if I was insulting anyone or hurting my partner.
Sometimes I tell myself that our relationship is…oddly perfect…and yet I’m afraid to jinx it. I don’t know if you have noticed it or not, but we have a funnily happy yet child-like relationship – filled with spontaneity, joy, love, openness and honesty. Perhaps it is the way we are as individuals…perhaps it is because of our past that has led us to change into radically different people…or…
Perhaps it is just because of love.
Do you remember what it was like when you were a child and in love?
I think it is just like what we have…